(Closed) Thank You for the Stolen Gift? (Long!)

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4432 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Holy moly…I don’t really have solid advice…but if this were me, I would plain and simple tell the parents exactly how I feel and how wrong and rude it was for them to have done this.

Just because they hosted the party doesn’t mean they can just take what they see fit as being theirs…this is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard on wedding bee for sure.

 

Post # 4
Member
5093 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

I have no advice for you except to maybe go and smack his parents upside the head for being so ridiculous, but since that’s also probably illegal, my other advice to you is not to listen to my advice.  I’m sorry you’re in such a situation.  That is just absolutely insane, and his parents are asbolutely in the wrong.

Post # 5
Member
194 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

In my opinion, you HAVE to talk to them.  My Future Mother-In-Law would expect nothing less. She knows that I would put my two cents in.  Heck, I would even go far enough in having my husband there and maybe even a more neutral party.  I feel for you sweetheart.  I wanna come to wherever you are and smack them for you.  There is no excuse for being rude. 

Post # 6
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would send thank you notes to those guests that list dollar amounts and say that your Mother-In-Law very much appreciated the funds.

Post # 7
Member
4371 posts
Honey bee

Wow…What does your husband say?

Post # 9
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I would definately say something to your in laws. They need to know that it was wrong and you won’t tolerate it. Send thank you notes to all those that attended and make sure to mention the gifts in the thank yous to those where you actually got to have the gift. I still like my idea of letting the ones that gave money which you guys did not get to see know, cause personally if I give a gift I would want to know if the intended recepients never received it. That being said, if you go that route prepare for a never ending war of arguments with your Mother-In-Law. 

Post # 10
Member
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

What a terrible situation!  I can’t say I have a nice solution to offer, but I definitely wish you all the best in sorting it out.  

Post # 11
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Where is your hubby in this? Mabel it’s a culture thing but jeez the guest gave you a gift. Your hubby should be handling this 🙁

Post # 12
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Nearly speechless.  I would be too tempted to tell tem you were writing thank you notes and explaining that your in laws used you to raise funds for themselves.  Sometimes the fear of shame is enough.

Secondly, I cant decide if I respect your effort to handle this graciously or if want to shake you!!! 😉

Post # 13
Member
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2002

That is disgusting. What does your husband say to all of this?

Post # 14
Member
3375 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

omg if I was a guest I would have cancelled my check. I would NEVER write a check to a bride and groom knowing it was going to their parents instead. I mean for my gifts to help the bride and groom start their new life. Yikes!

Post # 15
Member
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

So hang on.  Guests gave you and your husband gifts, which his parents aren’t letting you have?  That’s theft, which is illegal.  They have absolutely no right to decide to do anything with those gifts other than give them directly to you.  Seriously, you and your husband need to present a united front and speak to them.  It is for you to decide what to do with the gifts, whether to keep them or donate to charity or whatever.  What his parents appear to have done is plain against the law.

Post # 16
Member
356 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Did they open the gifts for you and then just decide which gifts to give you???? That is not OK.

To find out if they did donate to charity, you could ask for the reciept because techinically the gifts were for you and your husband so you would like to use it as a tax reduction.  Or at least go halfsies with his brother for the reduction.

Otherwise, I think that is your husband’s fight, and he needs to man up and give his parents his two cents.  (He needs to first find that 2 cents, so you will have to help him with that). 

What a crazy situation.  So sorry you have to deal with this!

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