(Closed) Thank you note for shower vs. wedding present

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4582 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would send a thank you now and a photo card after the wedding.

Post # 4
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@iheartnerds:  Agreed.  I’d bet that it’s a wedding gift, but either way I think the politest thing to do is to send a thank-you very soon after you receive a gift.  You can always send the photo card after the wedding as a “thanks again for the gift, and thanks for coming”.

Post # 5
3295 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

i would send a thank you now…. just in case. better safe than sorry ya know 🙂

Post # 6
3267 posts
Sugar bee

Either way I would send one now.


Post # 7
646 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Etiquette actually states that you’re not supposed to bring a gift to the wedding, but that you should ship it ahead of (or shortly after) the wedding. Thank you notes should be sent within three months (MAX!) of RECEIVING the gift.

If you really want to wait for your photo cards, you should at least send an email letting the giver know that you got it. I know that when I ship gifts, I’m always a little worried as to whether it made it or not! 🙂

Post # 8
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I personally would send it now.  Any presents that are sent to us before the wedding I’ve been sending a thank-you within a few days.  That will save me time after the wedding when I know I’ll have a ton to do!

Post # 9
1696 posts
Bumble bee

The standard that (the original) Emily Post suggested for all thank-you notes, regardless of the occasion (hence, weddings included) was that the notes should be written before you go to bed on the same day that the gift was received.

Photo-cards are a recent innovation. They’re a brilliant idea on the part of some photographer: guaranteeing he gets to sell an addtional hundred or so prints, the bride gets to send out pictures of herself in her “once in a lifetime” dress, and all the guests get a snapshot for their photo albums.

But, etiquette doesn’t acknowledge any special dispensation from prompt thank-you notes, for people who are planning to have photo-cards made. Send the note now, on an old-fashioned plain white heavy-paper fold-over note-card.

If you still want to send them a photo-card as well, you can adopt the new trend of simply thanking them for attending. It’s the guests who are supposed to send “thank-you for your hospitality” notes immediately after the party, but guests don’t have the additional impetus of having a self-portrait to send out with their thank-you notes.

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