Post # 1
We have all the wedding thank you notes done. We think…..
We did not receive anything, not even a card from one guest who didn’t attend due to a prior commitment. (Before anyone starts saying, “Gifts and Cards are not owed.” We know that.) But what if he did send a card or gift that went missing and we have not sent the Thank you card???? He is the type of person to send a card or something.
So what do I do? Do I ask him? Do I mention it to his mother? Do I just hope we don’t owe him a thank you note? We are not looking to guilt a gift or card out of him, we just don’t want to be rude. Any suggestions on how the most polite way to handle this?
Thank you. 🙂
Post # 2
handa: There’s really no way to ask without seeming like youre saying, where the heck is my gift? Chances are if you didnt receive it – he didnt send anything. Or – he could still be planning to send something but hasnt gotten around to it. He didn’t even attend the wedding. Hopefully if he did, he will eventually ask you if you have received it.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t mention it unless it comes up but that’s because, personally, if I can’t make it to a wedding I don’t send a gift unless it’s a very close friend or family member. It may be that he didn’t send you anything because he wasn’t attending.
Then again, you know this person better than I do, so if you’re close to this person and think it probably got lost then I might ask (but still probably not). You mention asking his mom – if you’re close to his mom and don’t think that would be awkward, that might be the way to go. Again, assuming you’re pretty darn sure that he sent something.
Just my $0.02.
Post # 4
handa: He didn’t even go to the wedding so I would assume he didn’t send anything. I have been totally shocked that people I know aren’t coming sent gifts. That said, if knowing him you are sure he would have sent something I guess you could ask his mom but then what is she going to do? Ask him on your behalf? Isn’t that even weirder?
Post # 5
There is no polite way to ask. If he sent something that was lost then he’ll eventually ask you if you received the ______. You don’t send thank yous for just cards anyway. I’d just let it go.
Post # 6
No, if he did send something and never hears from you, it’s up to him to ask if it was ever received. Though many people choose to mark the occasion with a gift of someone close, even if they can’t attend, he’s not obligated to give anything.
Technically, he has a year to give you a gift, while thank you notes are due asap or immediately.
Many people mistakenly associate cards with gifts and don’t send one without the other, or they will wait to do so until sending the gift.
Post # 7
Thank you everyone. I guess, I’ll just have to hope I didn’t skip a card.