Post # 1
So question 1: Is it okay to give thank you cards in person? For example, a couple of my co-workers sent me and Fiance flowers to congratulate us on our engagement. I see them evey day and don’t know their addresses. Is it okay to give them thank you cards in person?
Question 2: I’m pretty sure I know the answer to this one, but am gonna ask anyway to settle an argument. FI’s friend and his partner took Fiance and I out for appies and drinks to celebrate our engagement. I think they should get a thank you. Fiance disagrees. Should I just send one?
Question 3: above couple are in a serious relationship. We’re closer to him than her, but she paid our tab. Should I send the card to her in both their names? Or to him in both their names? Or separate cards?
Finally a vent. Fiance has TERRIBLE handwritting. Like he makes an effort with the grocery list, so that I can read it. The other day there was something on the list that looked like “Pmnlee mix”. When I asked Fiance what it was, he said “Pancake mix”. If he writes any of the thank you cards, no one will know what they say. Fiance has a small family, so his side of the guest list is going to be small and I told him I would write all the thank you cards for his family as long as he does the leg work to get their address. I asked Fiance to get above friend’s address. He hasn’t done it. There’s also been a ton of other wedding related things that I’ve asked him to do and he still hasn’t done them. Like when we bought my ring in March, I told Fiance that he needs to make sure to get it appraised for insurance purposes and get it added as a rider to our insurance policy. It’s mid May and it’s still not done. He did at least get me added to the policy (which I’ve been asking him to do for months), so I’m just going to get the ring added myself. It’s just frustrating that he keeps not doing these things when I ask him to, and that I just end up doing them myself.
Post # 3
Q1: yes i think its OK to give Thank You notes in person to coworkers. My coworkers chipped in to buy me something and I brought in a card for the group the next day.
Q2: honestly I wouldn’t send a Thank You note for your friends taking you out. People go out for dinner/drinks a lot, and sometimes they split, or one person/couple pays and you don’t send out a card every time that happens.
My Darling Husband has really bad handwriting, so I just wrote out all the Thank You notes. It wasn’t a big deal. Not sure why you need his family’s addresses now if your wedding is next year though? You’ll have to get the addresses for invites or Save-The-Date Cards anyway, so you’ll have them by the time you send out TYs unless they got you engagement gifts.
Post # 4
I’m the one with the crappy handwriting though, and FI’s grandmother ground sending thank you notes into him at a young age. Phew!
Post # 5
Q1: Yes, I’ve given and received notes in person. A co-worker who is also a dear friend handed me her rsvp card in person. It’s fine.
Q2: I would send an email or fb message thank you for that. Just a quick note saying you appreciated it and had a lovely time. People do like to know that you were still thinking of it later, which is what the note conveys, but a handwritten note may be too formal.
Many men are raised thinking all these things are the bride’s job – my Fiance is somewhat involved in planning, but it’s pretty rare in our circle. When we went to buy a wedding gift a few weeks ago or a friend who’s getting married this weekend, he had no idea where they were even registered. He did seem aware later what the gift was and that it was from us, but I assure you that thank you card was all her doing.
Post # 6
Sorry, I guess I should about the addresses. We’ve already received a few engagement gifts, so I told him that I would write cards for any gifts we get from his side, as long as he gets the person’s address for me. And I told him that thank you cards need to be sent out within 2 weeks of the gift being received, preferably sooner.
I thought in the case of his friends taking us out a thank you card would be appropriate since in FI’s group of friends they don’t actually really take turns paying for things, it’s always separate bills when we go as a group, with the exceptions of birthdays, where everyone chips in to buy the birthday boy/girl’s meal and drinks. We’ve had dinner/appies/drinks with this couple several times before and we’ve always split the bill. The invite was specifically to celebrate our engagement, and we ended up eating/drinking a fair amount!
Post # 7
@futuremrste: I would still say no. I’d think it odd to receive a formal thank you card for a dinner out.
Post # 8
I always err on the side of sending thank yous. You don’t need to send them to anyone who gives just a card or just attends your reception, but any gifts, money, flowers, or meals out deserve a handwritten thank you.
As for your Fiance and his handwriting – I’m in the same boat. When it comes time to get ours out, I’ll likely write them out and address, and give them to Fiance to sign, seal and stamp, so at least I’m not doing EVERYTHING.