(Closed) Thank You Note…sort of…

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 31
14160 posts
Honey Beekeeper

View original reply
sharpshooter :  “almost every wedding I’ve been to does the cake cutting before dinner, so I wouldn’t assume that she left before that.”

Really? That’s very unusual in my experience and not traditional. I can’t think of any wedding I’ve attended where the cake cutting was done before dinner. It’s usually well after the main course is served. It makes sense since barring an emergency it would be highly inconsiderate to leave before the meal is over. Would anyone do that at a dinner party? 

Post # 32
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I have never received a hand written note and i have been to many many weddings. California bee here. I think it’s a regional us thing? I would not be bothered. If you mom wanted to hear from the bride she should have called her to thank her to being invited to the wedding

Post # 33
2290 posts
Buzzing bee

FutureMrsMcGinnis :  So, the bride and groom were supposed to remember your very specific set of circumstances and tailor the reception timeline to your specific needs. If you left early, how do you know the bride and groom didn’t go around and thank people personally? You had graduation, you chose to drive to the wedding, you left early. The bride and groom didn’t need to alter anything about their wedding to fit your day– and quite frankly, its pretty rich to “demand” a receiving line when you didn’t even stay for the whole thing!

This is a classic case of choosing be offended. Sounds like you want to, so have at it.

Could they have hand written a card? Absolutely. Did they? No. So now you get to decide how you want to handle it. Should you call her and demand a handwritten letter? Should you just stew over it? Should you remain heartbroken? Should you let it go and just continue living life without putting so much emphasis on a thank you card?

Post # 35
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Yes, it has happened to me. I think once or twice. The one I remember was also a photo card with thank you printed on it with no personalized handwritten note. I wasn’t surprised or upset by it though. I kind of expected it as this couple is kind of lazy. I think these days, people are just lazy and its easier to either not send a note or send a mass produced note.  I also didn’t receive thank you notes or even a blank card  for my wedding gifts to 2 different couples. Both in the same family. I’m guessing lazy genetics. But I am still friends with them because they still include me in their family parties/events.

Would it be more thoughtful and polite to handwrite a short note? Absolutely. But Your mom shouldn’t take it personally and yes it’s probably a bit dramatic to be heartbroken. 

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