(Closed) Thank you notes

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: When did you send out your thank you notes after the wedding?
    1-2 weeks : (9 votes)
    23 %
    2-4 weeks : (18 votes)
    45 %
    2 months : (10 votes)
    25 %
    3 months or longer : (3 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    196 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    My Fiance and I juse recieved our thank you card from my cousins wedding we went to in October of 2011. Im not going to lie, I was very turned off by the time it took. I feel if you do not send them within a month or two the guest will have already written you off and think you are not going to bother sending them.

    Post # 4
    175 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    The generally accepted time period for sending out “Thank-you notes” is 2-4 weeks after returning from your honeymoon. Although some people say you have three months, personally, I think that 3 months is WAY too long.

    Has your photographer not provided you with any photos thus far? Not even a few “teaser shots”? I find that very odd, as my friend who got married June 16th (the saturday before you) had her “teasers” by the first weekend in July, and was able to choose from those 10 photos to do her thank you cards.

    I would follow up with the photographer and see if you can at least get 3 photos to choose from, as you should send out your thank you asap, as you are already at the two month after mark.

    IMO– I would avoid buying cheap thank you cards just to get it done. If the photographer says they can’t give you those 2-3 photos, then spend the money elsewhere and buy nice thank you cards and do it that way.

    Since your thank you’s have taken quite a while to be sent out to family and friends, I would make sure to write them properly, and well.

    IMO, If I get a lovely written thank you 2 months after… that’s fine… If i get a hastily written “Thank you for the blender and for sharing our special day!” 2 months after, I’m going to be upset.

    Just my opinions.


    Post # 5
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m lovingly writing like a full paragraph on each one and completely filling out the whole card, so I’m aiming for around 4 – 5 weeks post-wedding. They have a photo from our wedding on it, which is a surprise since we’ve been telling people we haven’t gotten the photos yet (which is technically true – we only got one!). If he wasn’t able to get us a photo so quickly, I would’ve put our engagement photos on there.

    @Ms.Meghann:  Agreed. If it is preprinted or just “thanks!”, then I would expect it almost ASAP.

    Post # 6
    11167 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    Well we had ours made through Shutterbug and the first batch was wrong and so we had to wait for our second batch. Then some (about half) of the address labels and seals we ordered were incorrect so those are currently being redone.

    While I ideally would have loved to have them all done months ago I have sent out about half so far. Yes it sucks considered we got back from our honeymoon on June 1st but we can’t help the issues that came up.

    Post # 7
    3471 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    It will be exactly a month tomorrow, I had brought my thank-you cards with me on the honeymoon with a start to my gift list.  We also bought some souveniers on the honeymoon and packaged them all up to ship home… Well, the package still hasn’t arrived– along with all of my notes! 

    I am planning to start them over this week.  I’m thinking about waiting until I have a photo so I can include that in a card with a p.s. apologizing for the delay and blaming it on the photos… 

    Post # 8
    159 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I would do whatever you can to get those Thank-Yous out ASAP. If that means stalk your photographer, great!! If you can’t get photos in a timely fashion, I’d set about getting alternative Thank-Yous. 

    As far as dollar store Thank-Yous go, I think that’s perfectly fine if it matches the formality of your invitations. If your invitations were professionally printed, written w/calligraphy, embossed, etc., I don’t think you can go the dollar store route. However, if you had a less-formal invite, you can certainly do a less expensive thank you as well. 

    Post # 9
    3471 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    @Ms.Meghann:  I’ve been married for a month and I can’t even get my photographer to respond to my e-mails with more than a “I’m swamped, I’ll write a longer reply later…” I’m not sure I’ll even have the photos by the 3 month mark.  

    Post # 10
    3265 posts
    Sugar bee

    Being polite means thanking guests as quickly as possible.  You are really getting close to the 3 month mark and need to thank your guests.  Honestly, some are already probably put off that they haven’t been thanked.

    Photocards are certainly not required to thank your guests, and can even be seen as self important by the more particular corwd.

    You shouldn’t delay thanking your guests, so that they can get a photo of you.  If you are really that keen that they get a photo from the wedding, you can always do a 2nd mailing.

    Post # 11
    881 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We are doing a 3 week honeymoon so by the time mine go out it will probably be at least a month after the wedding.  I’m sure some guests will expect them sooner.  Oh well!

    Post # 12
    542 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Every single wedding thank you card I’ve received has taken extra time. Now that a lot of people are doing photo thank you cards, it’s common to send them out 3-4 months after the wedding, and most people know this.

    I was married in June but I am only now in the process of sending my thank you’s because the photographer took 2 months to give us the pictures, then we ordered cards and it took a week for our cards to be printed and shipped to us.

    Post # 13
    1471 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I expect a thank you card within a month. I’d way rather have a generic thank you card sent in a timely fashion than a photo card. While I sometimes put Save the Dates or invitations on my refrigerator, I throw thank you cards away after reading, so having a photo on them doesn’t do much for me. My thank you cards were sent within 2 weeks of receipt of the gift.

    I don’t think you need to feel bad about not sending them out yet, that’s not my point, I just think it’s far more important (especially without any timeframe from a photographer) to get them out ASAP.

    Post # 14
    989 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We’re intentionally not including photos just to avoid having to wait to get Thank You notes out.  While the picture is a nice thought, I know my guests and they would appreciate a prompt Thank You much more than another picture of us. 

    I had my shower TYs out within 3 days, and I expect that we’ll have our Thank You notes out within a week of returning from the honeymoon.

    Post # 15
    4193 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    We had all of ours done by the one month mark. People *really* appreciated getting them so soon after the wedding- my Mom had guests tell her that. We included a card with a link to our wedding photos (guest uploads), and we’ll use a wedding photo in our Christmas card.

    Post # 16
    2781 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I think anything past 2 months is quite rude. Your guests are already wrighting you off at this point, IMO.

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