(Closed) Thank you notes…

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
395 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mayflowerbride13:  This would annoy me too. It’s kind of like when you write a letter to a company or something and you get the generic response letter. Hmph!

Post # 4
Member
13010 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It would rub me the wrong way, too.  I know the etiquette says up to a year, but it really should be as soon as possible…AND personalized. 

Post # 5
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

No– you’re not alone.  Thank you notes SHOULD be hand written; and honestly– I think a year is too long, but that’s a personal thing. 

 

In my opinion, just sending a picture with a generic “thank you” on it is very insincere, and will likely be seen by many people as rude.  If someone takes the time  to give you a gift, you should thank them.  Spending 5 minutes on a mass mailing is NOT a thank you.  

Post # 6
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

The guests have up to a year to send the couple a gift, but etiquette states that the couple should write their thank you note as soon as possible after the gift is received.

Post # 7
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We started writing ours when we returned from our honeymoon on Wednesday and they’re all going out in the mail this morning.  And I was sick for most of the weekend.  I don’t really understand why it’s so difficult for people to get their Thank You notes done.  It took no more than a few hours, and I was able to watch football during that time.

Post # 8
Member
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

No, the etiquette is not a year for thank yous- it’s 3 months, but you should try to send as soon as possible. Guests have a year to send a gift.

http://www.emilypost.com/weddings/wedding-registries-gifts-and-thank-yous/167-wedding-thank-yous

We had thank yous for gifts received at the wedding done within 2 months. To make it easier, I had pre-addressed envelopes for those who had RSVP’d, and I drafted the thank yous in email first, so I wouldn’t waste too many cards.

Even with a large guest list, 3 months is certainly doable, if you do a few every day. I’d also be a little annoyed with a generic thank you- it takes less than 5 minutes to personalize a card!

Post # 10
Member
4337 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@sportsgal31:  Wow! I thought I was doing well & I’m only about 75% done and we returned from our honeymoon 2 weeks ago…

I agree with PPs – thank you cards should be personalized! (And the “one year” rule is false…and ridiculous.)

Post # 11
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You don’t have a year.  I’m always shocked by how many people think this.  The person has a year to send you a gift, you need to send the thank you note ASAP.  But ALWAYS hand-written.

Post # 13
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Not even the names, just “thank you”?  I guess she feels herself way too important to do anything “right”!

Post # 14
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t mind the picture thank you cards as long as there is a personal note on the back of it also.

ETA: I like the idea of the picture because I go to so many weddings without taking a picture of the bride and groom 🙁 I don’t know why, I just get cought up in the moment 🙂

Post # 16
Member
998 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’ve heard various times when the cards should be sent, but personally I think they should be sent within a month of returning from the honeymoon (or a month after wedding if you are delaying your hM like we are). I remember it took one of my friends 4 to 5 months and I thought that was kind of rude. 

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