Post # 1
I have a question about thank you cards… We kept track as we opened all our cards/gifts the day after the wedding, and after, i compared the list to my seating chart to make sure every one was accounted for and I didn’t accidently get excited by a gift and forget to note it.
I found four wedding guests who hadn’t left a gift, and they happen to all be members of the wedding party- my husbands two brothers (groomsmen) and my friend and a cousin (bridesmaids.) My gut says “Of course send them a card to thank them for attending, participating, and all their support during the process.” But, I don’t want them to get the card and realize they didn’t send a gift and make it awkward. I also know guests technically have a year to send a gift, and we’ve only been married three months- what if i send the “thanks for coming and helping” card and then get a gift later- send another thank you? I’m worried it will come off as “thanks for coming, do you realize you didn’t send a gift?” I’m not fishing for a gift, just trying to wrap up my final detail. Thoughts?
For what its worth, each bridesmaid and groomsman did get a nice gift at the rehearsal dinner.
Post # 3
I would still send them a card thanking them for being involved and all their support and such. One of my bridesmaids just gave me a card and I still sent her a card letting her know how much I appreciated everything. I honestly didnt expect a gift from the bridal party seeing as they already spent so much money throwing the stag/stagette and travelling to the wedding. And if they do send a gitft eventually then i would just call and thank them for the gift.
Post # 5
I still sent a card for participation but I was irked at the amount of people who didnt send a gift. They were all groomsmen and unmarried so I guess I can’t be too upset. lol
Post # 6
Definitely send them thank-yous for attending/helping out!
Post # 7
Ok, I’ll write them tonight. I think I’d feel differently if they were regular guests who hadn’t sent a gift, but as members of the bridal party, theres more to thank them for than just “Hey thanks for coming!” I didn’t expect much from my new BILs, they’re young, they’ve never been to (let alone IN) a wedding, etc. So glad to finally have these notes written and done!!
Post # 8
For regular guests I would say no because I think receiving a thank you card for attending is weird on two levels: 1) it’s like a big sign that the person didn’t give a gift and could make them feel awkward/guilty, and 2) the reception is supposed to be seen as the thank you for the guests coming out and witnessing your union. However, because these are all bridal party members, I think it would be totally appropriate to write a heartfelt letter expressing your gratitude that they helped out and stood by your sides (if you didn’t already give a letter to that effect).
Post # 9
That was my hang up about the whole issue, that it’s like a “hey, i’m sending my thank you notes and realized you didn’t send me anything…so… thanks for coming?” But I agree, as members of the bridal party, they deserve a thanks.
Post # 10
Right, becuase your thank you to them will be for so much more so it won’t be awkward. Writing letters of thanks, just like giving a gift to the wedding party, are now commonplace when it comes to wedding parties.