(Closed) Thank you notes. Did anyone want to murder their husband?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
9198 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@cmbr:  haha, that description of his message made me laugh.  I think you’re a step ahead of me – knowing my guy, I just immediately assumed I’d be writing all 100+ of them myself.  I’m sure it’d be approximately 2016 before he finished them.  Actually, scratch that, they would literally never get done. 

So in summary… my expectations were set extremely low based on 10 years of experience, so he has met them and I don’t actually want to murder him!  Success?

Post # 4
1868 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m sorry you’re feeling so frustrated about it all, but I gotta say, reading the “thank you” note that he wrote, made me laugh my butt off! ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 5
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Ya know… I did them all myself for a reason. ๐Ÿ˜‰

At least he tried to be to the point! Haha. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
4049 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Ugh. I addressed as many of my guy’s save the dates as I could and still wrote the names on the ones I didn’t know and gave him a clear date I wanted them all sent out by. Were they all out by then? NOPE.

Mind you, he is sending his off to all of his people who have to fly 5,000 miles to our wedding. They need some advanced warning, hun!

So that was back in July. Now it is mid-September and he is only now deciding to invite a few more people. I’d be fine with a guest count increase, but seriously, babe? Your friends need to purchase a $1,000+ airfare to come out. If there was any chance of their attendance, they’d need to already know.

I’m also sending him home with the invitations– which I will already have pre-assembled, stuffed, and addressed for him. All he’ll need to do is add postage and send away. I will feel like kicking him in the shin if he delays on those (I’d never really kick him, but the thought can be appealing).

I think I’ll give him a fake deadline of when to send those out…

So yeah, thank you cards will be done by me!

Post # 7
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@cmbr:  Love it!  HAHA!  Hope you survive!  My Fiance told me (straight faced) “We can just thank people at the reception and save the time” so I’m guessing I’ll be writing them all (esp. because he has pretty bad penmenship).  Thanks for the laugh!

Post # 8
1227 posts
Bumble bee

I asked my husband to thank his Bridesmaid or Best Man for taking us out to dinner the week before the wedding.  He still hasn’t done it.

So I am writing all of our thank you notes.  I write pretty detailed notes, have better handwriting than he does, and I know they’ll get done. This is important to me because I think a lot of people expect the bride to do it anyway, and therefore judge HER when it’s not done.  Not fair, especially in this day and age, but the way it is.

I told him that since he paid for most of the wedding, I would write the notes, and we’d be even. Everyone is happy, and 10 days after we married, most are done. They’d all be done if we hadn’t been away for the past 5 days.  By Friday, the rest will be in the mail, which will make me happy because i just want to be done with wedding stuff now.  Time for life to get back to normal.

Post # 9
1218 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@cmbr:  This is why I did ours myself! We had a relatively small guest list, though, so I only had about 40 to do. I have nice handwriting whereas DH’s ranges from ‘messy’ to ‘illegible’, and he is a major league procrastinator.

Is it possible to do them yourself, that way you’ll know it’s all handled?

Post # 10
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I should ask Darling Husband to write some, but…I don’t know. Mine aren’t impressive or anything (all five of them that I’ve written), and I really don’t want to do them at all, but I feel like I should (plus Darling Husband is busy with school and work). I keep telling myself that I’ll do them at work and on the weekend, and then I don’t lol. One of DH’s coworkers loved the one that I wrote for her, though, so that was nice to hear.

I LOL’d at your husband’s note. That’s totally what I want to write on ours.

Post # 11
9682 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I think it’s kind of cute that he wrote that. At least it’s better than the usual made up cliched babble people generally write. He was honest and genuine and the person knows that their gift will be used. It sucks to buy someone a gift that they never end up using.

I’m lucky because my husband’s writing is actually neater than mine and he understands how important thank you cards are (he wasn’t always this way, but he has learned since being with me). I am a strong writer but I hate doing cards. He can always think of what to say.

Post # 12
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Even if his thank-you notes aren’t the best, I’m sure the recipients will appreciate the sentiment and that he wrote them himself!  My husband and I split ours up, with each of us writing to our respective family members and friends.  He typed “drafts” on his computer first and I reviewed them and gave him some gentle pointers ๐Ÿ™‚  It was an educational experience for him since he doesn’t come from a thank-you note writing family like I do!  It took him much longer than it took me, but I do think his family and friends were impressed that he wrote the note himself (even if they had trouble deciphering his hand writing!).  I suggest you just take a deep breath, and let your husband write the notes, even if takes a while.  At least he wants to do his part — that’s a good omen for the future!

Post # 13
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’d love to get a thank-you from your husband! 

Mine offered to help but there weren’t many of them (25-ish?) so I did them in just a couple nights.  I did make him address the ones that went to China and write the ones to people I had never met who just sent checks, but that was it. 

Post # 14
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

People wouldn’t be able to read my husband’s writing. I have formal writing skills. He’s a thank you note freeloader. I tell him this every time I write our cards. 

Post # 15
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I gave my husband a “script” to base his note off of and told him if he wanted to add anythign else in it he could. He did very well with it thankfully. I refused to split the list with him. I told him I would do all my family and he would do all his, but he never got around to it, so I sat down with him and did it together.

Post # 16
993 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

at least you have help with them

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