(Closed) Thank you notes for separated parents?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.  I think the best thing to do at this time is to respect their choice at the moment by treating them as separated and sending them both a card and a gift separately.  I don’t think it’s necessarily taking a stand on what you see for their future.  Rather it’s making sure that they both separately know how much you value your individual relationship with them and everything they contributed to your wedding.  

Post # 4
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Au Jardin:  As someone whose parents separated a week after I got engaged (no clue if they will be divorced before or after the wedding but it is inevitable at this point) I would treat both as individuals and give them each their own thank you note and wedding album. If they divorce, it will be one less thing to fight over. If they don’t, well its not that bad to have two copies of the wedding album. As for addressing them, I would write “mom” and “dad” instead of Mr. Au Jardin and Mrs. Au Jardin, because it seems easier. I know my mom (who left) has managed to keep her drama to herself, and still be supportive of the wedding, but she prefers to be acknowledged individually. My dad is still struggling with everything, but is slowly accepting things and did not take offense when we (my siblings and I) gave them separate christmas presents (though they were identical gifts).

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