(Closed) Thank-You Notes: How many gifts received AT wedding vs. PRIOR TO?

posted 6 years ago in Recaps
Post # 3
Member
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Merelymere:  Your asking something that no one but you can possibly answer….you are the only ones who will know exactly how many Thank you cards you need. The rule is, one card per family/couple/guest who has given you a gift.

The gifts are given mostly at the wedding. Some at the shower and you even receive some after the wedding as well. It just depends when people give you the gifts.

Post # 4
Member
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

This is going to be quite different for each bride, because it varies from region to region, and you’ll have your own friends’ and families’ mix of habits and cultural behaviors. Some brides expect a gift at their shower AND their wedding, from the same guests (not typical in my circle, where a shower gift precludes a separate wedding gift). 

Darling Husband and I got about half of our gifts before the wedding, and I didn’t have any showers. We got at the wedding almost all the rest of what we think we’ll get, in the form of both gfts and some envelopes with gift cards and money. We’ve had a very few others trickle in afterwards (we getting another one tonight from some friends who just didn’t get to it yet). 

I think the picture thank you cards with the bride and groom are very cute. 

But no card on this earth is cute enough to justify making anyone wait to receive their thank you card. I see Bees on here talking about being months behind on their cards, because they’re waiting for their cute thank you cards to come in. I am horrified by the idea that anyone would wait more than a few weeks to receive a thank you. It’s just inexcusable. 

Everybody on the Bee has their thing, and this is mine. Please send the thank you for each gift the first instant you have free to write it. If you can communicate with your photographer that you need the thank you picture done first and ready the next day so you can order the cards and have them back by the time you return from your honeymoon, then it could still work out that you’ll get to send most of your thank yous on that card (which I don’t doubt your guests will love).

Post # 5
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

We only had about ten gifts shipped before the wedding (I’m not counting shower gifts in this.)

You still need to send thank yous for checks received, which was the majority of the gifts we received at the wedding. If you want to do a thank you banner, I’d ask a friend, in addition to your photographer, to take a picture of it. That way if your photographer is behind, you can stay on track of your thank yous.

Post # 6
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee

@ProfessorGirl:  @rebwana:  Ditto their advice. If you really want a photo Thank You card, find a way to make it happen quickly so that you can do the notes promptly after the wedding.

Also, you don’t necessarily need to use the photo card for all the thank yous. If some gifts trickle in early or late and you have to use generic thank yous for those even if the majority of them are photo cards, that’s fine. People only ever see the card they get anyway.

Post # 7
Member
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Most wedding photographers are fine with getting you a few wedding photos from the wedding for your thank you cards. However, you can’t really be super picky since they usually will only have a few ready to go for print a few days after your wedding, especially if they are busy with other couples. Another option is to use your engagement photos for your cards. Most of your guests won’t see these anyways, unless you do a photobook guestbook, so that’s a nice way to share these with them.

As far as gifts are concerned, we got about 10% a month prior via mail, about 20% two weeks prior, about 20% the week prior/purchased day of but shipped, and then at the wedding itself, we got the rest in envelopes and a few “regular” gifts.

FWIW, I didn’t have a bridal shower, so that’s why we didn’t have gifts come in really early on.
 

Post # 8
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I wanted to do photo thank yous, but gave up on the idea. Photographer did get all pics back in 4 weeks, but the contract said up to 90 days. I had all the thank yous done, handwritten, by the time those pictures were back

We did get a few gifts before the wedding in the mail. We had two showers, due to location of wedding vs where we live. Had 40 or so thank yous for one shower and 15 for the other. For the wedding we just got checks/cash. Had 60 or so to do then… Plus I sent thank yous to my vendors because of the good relationships we had built.

Post # 10
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

I planned on having the same number of thank-you cards as I had invites, and it worked out perfectly– almost everyone gave us a gift/card of some kind, and there were a few guests who didn’t– but I sent them a thank-you card anyway for attending the wedding and sharing in our day.  

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