Post # 1
I just wanted some opinions on when Thank You notes should be mailed out by.
We got married in late August, and I am just finishing up my notes now (it’s been just about 5 months).
There were a lot of reasons it took this long… We wanted to wait until our professional phtos came back (which we received late October) so that I could create a photo collage card.
My photographer did such a great job getting at least one decent picture of every single guest, that I decided I wanted to print a photo (or several for some guests!) to include in the card as a gift. I chose to print and include pictures of each guest, NOT additional photos of Darling Husband and myself… the collage had enough of us on it!
It took a long time to choose which photo(s) to include for each guest, and then I had to get them printed. I tried printing through some online print company, and it took a whole week for the photos to get to me, but the colors came out TERRIBLE (our cobalt blue looked like royal violet), so I had to return them and find another printing company. I ultimately went through Walgreens, whose color quality was fine and their prices were great (especially after coupons).
So, by the time I chose the photos, got them printed properly, and FINALLY finished writing out each of the 60 cards, I’m just about ready to mail them.
So, five months for a “Thank You” card (WITH a specially chosen high-quality photo or photos included in each!!)…. is that a long time? Am I terribly late?
Post # 3
@lovelove1028: It’s pretty late, but etiquette books say you have up to a year. I plan on just using plain cards so I don’t stress out and just get them out the door.
Post # 4
@lovelove1028: I think you are late. To me it is more important to get the than you notes out promptly than to wait for professional pics. You could have mailed those with your Christmas cards, if you sent them, or just mailed them at a later date. But, better late than never.
@Polygon: This is a common misconception. Nowhere in any etiquette book does it say you have a year to send thank you notes.
Post # 5
@Polygon: Not true. Etiquette stipulates that guests have up to one year to send gifts to a married couple. A thank you card should be written promptly, as soon as the gift is received.
OP, I think that yes, you are very late. After two or three months, I assume the couple just forgot about or chose not to write thank you cards. You can justify it with your reasons and your photo touches, but to be perfectly honest, getting a thank you card five months later will make me think just how much time has passed between the wedding and the thank you card.
Post # 6
Etiquette books don’t say you have up to a year to send thank you notes. Guests have up to a year to send a gift, but thank you notes should be sent ASAP after receiving each gift. Emily Post says a max of three months.
I would say five months is late, but better late than never. We drove five hours with an expensive gift to a wedding in 2011 that we never got a thank you note for, and we still remember that we didn’t get one.
Post # 7
@lovelove1028: better late than never! After 3-4 months I’d start to assume that I wasn’t getting a thank you card at all. But with all the effort you’ve put into them it’d be well worth the wait for your guests!
Post # 8
I would agree with the PP’s that five months is late.
Post # 9
I’m not someone who cares that much about etiquette in general, however I do think 5 months is quite long before receiving thank you cards. My thinking is that people are ”over” the event, if I might say so. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure everybody will be extremely happy to receive high quality pictures that you’ve taken time to choose, but they’ll probably find it odd to be thanked for attending an event in August. And, I also see it as : they probably offered you a gift (and that’s probably also why you’re thanking them), so 5 months before receiving thank you’s is quite a stretch (in the guest’s perspective).
I think in that kind of situation, it is better to send 2 batches of cards : the official thank you notes (for attending, for the gift) should ideally be sent in the 2-3 weeks following the wedding, and pro pics could be sent later (and be a surprise, even).
That’s how I see it, but don’t worry, I think everybody will be very happy to receive the pics you sent them and I don’t think people will be offended. 🙂
Post # 10
They are pretty late, but it’s one of those situations where “why cry over spilt milk?”
It’s not like you can go back and mail them out earlier, so just mail them ASAP. I think people make too much of a big deal about thank-you notes, to be honest. I never give a gift & then stew over when/if I get a thank-you. I find that rude.
Post # 11
It’s better then not at all
and nothing you can do now but in the future for like babies or what not keep in mind
Post # 12
Yeah, you’re late (I usually like a 3 month rule) but it’s better than nothing so just send them out!
Post # 13
Better late than never! I think 2-3 months is reasonable, but don’t let being late stop you from sending them!
Post # 14
I think 1-2 is reasonable, 3 months is pushing it. Waiting for pro photos is not a good reason for them to be late. I specifically asked my photographer about photo thank yous and she said to remind her before the wedding and she would ensure I got some photos back right away.
Post # 15
It’s late, but as you’re sending something personalised I’m sure your guests will appreciate the effort.
Post # 16
- Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall
It’s a little late, but anyone who gets their panties in a bunch over it is kinda petty. I think it’s sweet that you’re including a professional photo of the guests in each Thank You card. Much more thoughtful than the typical “Thanks for the crockpot, we can’t wait to use it! Love, Bob & Sue” so everyone should let it slide 🙂