(Closed) Thank You notes.. is 5 months late???

posted 5 years ago in Paper
  • poll: When is the appropriate time frame to mail out Thank You notes by??
    They should be sent out within 1 month of the wedding date. : (36 votes)
    26 %
    They should be sent out within 2-3 months. : (83 votes)
    60 %
    They should be sent out within 4-5 months. : (3 votes)
    2 %
    They should be sent out within 6-7 months : (3 votes)
    2 %
    They should be sent out within 8-10 months : (1 votes)
    1 %
    You have up to a year from the wedding to send out Thank You cards. : (11 votes)
    8 %
    Other... Please post a comment! :) : (1 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    784 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @lovelove1028:  It’s pretty late, but etiquette books say you have up to a year.  I plan on just using plain cards so I don’t stress out and just get them out the door.

    Post # 4
    46677 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @lovelove1028:  I think you are late. To me it is more important to get the than you notes out promptly than to wait for professional pics. You could have mailed those with your Christmas cards, if you sent them, or just mailed them at a later date. But, better late than never.

    @Polygon:  This is a common misconception. Nowhere in any etiquette book does it say you have a year to send thank you notes.

    Post # 5
    13294 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @Polygon:  Not true.  Etiquette stipulates that guests have up to one year to send gifts to a married couple.  A thank you card should be written promptly, as soon as the gift is received.

    OP, I think that yes, you are very late.  After two or three months, I assume the couple just forgot about or chose not to write thank you cards.  You can justify it with your reasons and your photo touches, but to be perfectly honest, getting a thank you card five months later will make me think just how much time has passed between the wedding and the thank you card.

    Post # 6
    3688 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Etiquette books don’t say you have up to a year to send thank you notes. Guests have up to a year to send a gift, but thank you notes should be sent ASAP after receiving each gift. Emily Post says a max of three months.

    I would say five months is late, but better late than never. We drove five hours with an expensive gift to a wedding in 2011 that we never got a thank you note for, and we still remember that we didn’t get one.

    Post # 7
    519 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    @lovelove1028:  better late than never! After 3-4 months I’d start to assume that I wasn’t getting a thank you card at all. But with all the effort you’ve put into them it’d be well worth the wait for your guests!

    Post # 8
    3941 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I would agree with the PP’s that five months is late.

    Post # 9
    2890 posts
    Sugar bee

    I’m not someone who cares that much about etiquette in general, however I do think 5 months is quite long before receiving thank you cards. My thinking is that people are ”over” the event, if I might say so. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure everybody will be extremely happy to receive high quality pictures that you’ve taken time to choose, but they’ll probably find it odd to be thanked for attending an event in August. And, I also see it as : they probably offered you a gift (and that’s probably also why you’re thanking them), so 5 months before receiving thank you’s is quite a stretch (in the guest’s perspective).

    I think in that kind of situation, it is better to send 2 batches of cards : the official thank you notes (for attending, for the gift) should ideally be sent in the 2-3 weeks following the wedding, and pro pics could be sent later (and be a surprise, even). 

    That’s how I see it, but don’t worry, I think everybody will be very happy to receive the pics you sent them and I don’t think people will be offended. 🙂

    Post # 10
    3400 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    They are pretty late, but it’s one of those situations where “why cry over spilt milk?”

    It’s not like you can go back and mail them out earlier, so just mail them ASAP. I think people make too much of a big deal about thank-you notes, to be honest. I never give a gift & then stew over when/if I get a thank-you. I find that rude.

    Post # 11
    2488 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    It’s better then not at all


    and nothing you can do now but in the future for like babies or what not keep in mind 

    Post # 12
    9691 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Yeah, you’re late (I usually like a 3 month rule) but it’s better than nothing so just send them out!

    Post # 13
    1669 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Better late than never! I think 2-3 months is reasonable, but don’t let being late stop you from sending them!

    Post # 14
    2565 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I think 1-2 is reasonable, 3 months is pushing it.  Waiting for pro photos is not a good reason for them to be late.  I specifically asked my photographer about photo thank yous and she said to remind her before the wedding and she would ensure I got some photos back right away.

    Post # 15
    142 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015

    It’s late, but as you’re sending something personalised I’m sure your guests will appreciate the effort. 

    Post # 16
    1814 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    It’s a little late, but anyone who gets their panties in a bunch over it is kinda petty. I think it’s sweet that you’re including a professional photo of the guests in each Thank You card. Much more thoughtful than the typical “Thanks for the crockpot, we can’t wait to use it! Love, Bob & Sue” so everyone should let it slide 🙂

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