(Closed) thank you notes – when are you sending them?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012 - Franklin Plaza

I think a year is crazy. If I don’t have them out by three months after the wedding I will consider myself a failure. 😛 I had my shower on April 28th (your wedding date!) and sent all (50!) thank yous out this past weekend. Whew. It was time consuming but I’m glad they’re out the door.

Post # 4
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Honestly, I write one the first chance I have to sit down and do it. Usually within a day.

I understand that as it gets closer and I have more gifts coming in, that won’t always be possible, but I was raised to believe that you write thank you notes immediately.

I know standard etiquette says you have months or something, but I think you take care of gratitude before you do anything else.

Post # 5
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think it’s a misconception that you have one year to send them. I believe it’s that you have one year to send a gift to a couple, but thank you’s should be written as you receive gifts. 

Post # 6
768 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

As soon as I can. My guess is they will be mailed within a week or two. My shower invites we’re all done within a day. I try to send them asap so I can forget aboit them.

Post # 7
1115 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

The “one year from the wedding” is how long guests have to send wedding gifts (after that it’s just a gift). From the etiquette books I’ve read you generally have 1-1.5 months from the day you return from your honeymoon to send gifts. Unless of course you take an extremely extended honeymoon (longer than a month), then you have 3 months from the wedding date or 1 month from when you return, whichever is sooner, to send thank yous.

EDIT: forgot to add, for gifts received at pre-wedding events, or just pre-wedding gifts randomly received before/after the wedding, you have 2-3 weeks to send thank you notes.

As a guest, I know I find it really annoying to spend time and money getting to the wedding, possibly having to buy a new dress, take the time to pick out a thoughtful gift for the couple, attending pre-wedding events, and then not getting a thank you card for months.

Post # 8
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

One year is for the guests to send gifts, not for your thank yous.

Emily Post- “Each wedding gift should be acknowledged with a written note within three months of receipt of the gift. It’s best to write the notes as soon as possible after gifts arrive, however. Write a note even if you have thanked the giver in person.”

My goal is to get them out within a month- by Labor Day (6 weeks after the wedding) at the latest. I’m going to pre-address them as the RSVPs come in, to save time after the wedding.

Post # 10
3265 posts
Sugar bee

I had all of my thank yous in the mail by Monday ( I was married on a Saturday).  It was not that difficult.

I feel the sooner you can get them done the better.

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