Post # 1
We had 80 guests and received fewer than 20 gifts and cards, mostly from our immediate family. I have to admit, I’m devasted that the majority of the people who attended couldn’t just pick up a card at the drugstore. I didn’t expect gifts because a lot of them are in a tight spot, money-wise, and had to travel and book a hotel, etc. I just feel like an idiot for bothering to register anywhere, which I only did because I had a few people insist that we’d be getting a boatload of gifts so we might as well let people know what we wanted. So now I feel foolish and worry that I looked greedy. I’m especially surprised that the couple whose wedding I attended last year and another who are getting married this spring didn’t get us a card, or friends I see regularly or visit every time I visit my hometown. I get it, we’re all poor, but I just wanted cards to keep as mementos. Obviously I don’t want to mention it, but my feelings are hurt and I’m worried it will keep building up. I have a stack of thank you cards sitting on my desk that we had printed just for the wedding – do I wait a year and then send cards that say thank you for coming?
Post # 3
The reception is the thank you for attending, so there’s no need to send a thank you to those who didn’t bring anything. Unless you just want to use up your thank you cards. But, I wouldn’t wait a year to send them if you’re going to do that. I’d send them out in the next couple weeks, and if someone actually comes through with a gift in the future, just send them another.
Sorry you were disappointed by the way 🙁 Lack of even a card is seriously shitty.
Post # 4
Even though it is a crappy situation, you should thank them for coming. If they get a gift for you later o,, then thank them for that also.
Post # 5
@lmk227: Ahhhh, no card makes me BONKERS. My ILs didn’t even get us a card. My husband was PISSED. Anyway, here’s what I would say…
“Thank you so much for attending our wedding! We hope you had a great night. As we reflect on the day we realize just how lucky we are. Not only do we have each other, we have such a wonderful family to celebrate such events with. Your presence meant the world to us. So thank you for your company, for witnessing such a special occassion, and for the love and support you provided. With love, Mr. and Mrs. lmk227”
Post # 6
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
The reception is the thanks for attending the wedding. Thank you cards are for things that went beyond attendance (gifts, usually), so no, you should not send those who just attended a thank you note. Some people even see it as an tactless reminder to those people that they didn’t give a gift.
Post # 7
As a prior poster noted, there is no need to send a thank-you note to anyone who did not give you a gift. If gifts trickle in in the coming months, you would simply send notes at that time.
Post # 8
@lmk227: I still plan on sending thank yous out to those who didn’t give gifts but my situation is a little different. We had a Destination Wedding and people spent a lot to travel there so we really didn’t expect gifts. Although we still got some from most. Pretty crappy to not even get a card thou…. I feel ya on that!!!
Post # 9
Thank yous should not be dependant on gift- giving. I think it is important to thank people for attending. People were rude to you, don’t let that make you a rude person back! (Easier said than done, right? But I think you will at least feel like a good host by sending them.)
Post # 10
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
She did thank them. She had an entire reception to thank them.
Post # 11
I sent a thank you to every guest who either attended, sent a card/gift, or attended and also gave a card/gift.
I get that the reception is considered a thank you for attending the ceremony, but IMO, that was how we chose to celebrate exchangin our marriage vows. Our invitations were actally worded “Bride and Groom invite you to celebrate with them as they exchange marriage vows…”
For those who did not give a gift or card I simply wrote something along the line of “Thank you so much for coming to our wedding! We are so happy you were able to celebrate with us in our very special day.” Not to point out they did not bring something, but to thank them and tell them how glad we were they came (which we truly are)
Post # 12
Wow, I was under the impression that it was proper etiquette to send a thank you card regardless of receiving a gift. I never knew the reception was considered the “thank you” for attending the ceremony. Learn something new everyday!
OP, sorry that you were disappointed with not receiving anything, you bought the thank you cards, might as well send them and if they give you gifts later on, could you call them up and give a personal thank you for that gift since you would have already sent out written thank you’s?
Post # 13
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
Yeah, that’s what I thought to, as I was planning on sending all attendees thank yous, no matter if they brought a card/gift or not.
Post # 14
Glad to see I wasn’t alone in my thinking! Regardless of this new found information, although I will be doing more research, I still plan to send thank you notes to everyone who attends our day 🙂
Post # 16
We will be sending thank you cards to every guest. We will thank them for taking the time to help us celebrate the joy of our union.