(Closed) Thank-yous for guests who didn;t bring a gift or card

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

The reception is the thank you for attending, so there’s no need to send a thank you to those who didn’t bring anything.  Unless you just want to use up your thank you cards.  But, I wouldn’t wait a year to send them if you’re going to do that.  I’d send them out in the next couple weeks, and if someone actually comes through with a gift in the future, just send them another.

Sorry you were disappointed by the way 🙁  Lack of even a card is seriously shitty.

Post # 4
Member
4676 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Even though it is a crappy situation, you should thank them for coming.  If they get a gift for you later o,, then thank them for that also.  

Post # 5
Member
772 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@lmk227:  Ahhhh, no card makes me BONKERS.  My ILs didn’t even get us a card.  My husband was PISSED.  Anyway, here’s what I would say…

“Thank you so much for attending our wedding!  We hope you had a great night.  As we reflect on the day we realize just how lucky we are.  Not only do we have each other, we have such a wonderful family to celebrate such events with.  Your presence meant the world to us.  So thank you for your company, for witnessing such a special occassion, and for the love and support you provided.  With love, Mr. and Mrs. lmk227”

Post # 6
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

The reception is the thanks for attending the wedding. Thank you cards are for things that went beyond attendance (gifts, usually), so no, you should not send those who just attended a thank you note. Some people even see it as an tactless reminder to those people that they didn’t give a gift.

Post # 7
Member
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

As a prior poster noted, there is no need to send a thank-you note to anyone who did not give you a gift. If gifts trickle in in the coming months, you would simply send notes at that time.

Post # 8
Member
8424 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

@lmk227:  I still plan on sending thank yous out to those who didn’t give gifts but my situation is a little different. We had a Destination Wedding and people spent a lot to travel there so we really didn’t expect gifts. Although we still got some from most. Pretty crappy to not even get a card thou…. I feel ya on that!!! 

Post # 9
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Thank yous should not be dependant on gift- giving.  I think it is important to thank people for attending.  People were rude to you, don’t let that make you a rude person back!  (Easier said than done, right?  But I think you will at least feel like a good host by sending them.)

Post # 10
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@cbee:  She did thank them. She had an entire reception to thank them.

Post # 11
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I sent a thank you to every guest who either attended, sent a card/gift, or attended and also gave a card/gift.

I get that the reception is considered a thank you for attending the ceremony, but IMO, that was how we chose to celebrate exchangin our marriage vows. Our invitations were actally worded “Bride and Groom invite you to celebrate with them as they exchange marriage vows…”

For those who did not give a gift or card I simply wrote something along the line of  “Thank you so much for coming to our wedding! We are so happy you were able to celebrate with us in our very special day.” Not to point out they did not bring something, but to thank them and tell them how glad we were they came (which we truly are)

Post # 12
Member
74 posts
Worker bee

Wow, I was under the impression that it was proper etiquette to send a thank you card regardless of receiving a gift. I never knew the reception was considered the “thank you” for attending the ceremony. Learn something new everyday!

OP, sorry that you were disappointed with not receiving anything, you bought the thank you cards, might as well send them and if they give you gifts later on, could you call them up and give a personal thank you for that gift since you would have already sent out written thank you’s?

Post # 13
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

@rome116:  Yeah, that’s what I thought to, as I was planning on sending all attendees thank yous, no matter if they brought a card/gift or not.

Post # 14
Member
74 posts
Worker bee

@prisigtr:  Glad to see I wasn’t alone in my thinking! Regardless of this new found information, although I will be doing more research, I still plan to send thank you notes to everyone who attends  our day 🙂

Post # 15
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World

@rome116:  Yes, I think I will too!

Post # 16
Member
2961 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We will be sending thank you cards to every guest. We will thank them for taking the time to help us celebrate the joy of our union.

 

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