(Closed) Thank yous for wedding gifts?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I would have both your names as the gift is to the couple and not to the individual.

Post # 4
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I say open gifts as you get them and send a Thank You out immediately. I think it would be fine to add FI’s name. But if you feel it is not a genuine sentiment why don’t you write the notes and ask him to just sign his name?

Post # 5
Member
596 posts
Busy bee

I think you should add both names, since both of you are grateful for receiving the gift and looking forward to using it.  If his name wasn’t at the end, it would make him look rude.

Post # 6
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think the few cards I’ve done so far I’ve actually used "The Newlyweds" or "The [NewLastName]s."  Instead of signing his name for him, I having been using our new joint name.

Post # 7
Member
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

They are wedding gifts for the wedding of the two of you … definitely put his name on the thank you. You should also be using the pronouns we and our. 

Typically you sign only your name for the shower gifts because it is a bridal shower — showering the bride, but wedding gifts are for the couple therefore the thank you should come from the couple.

You should get him to write a couple of them!  Especially to his closest family and friends!!

Post # 8
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

@Mrs. Spring — Isn’t it considered bad ettiquette/bad luck to use your married last name together before the wedding?  

 

I would sign it from both of you. All of the thank you cards I’ve received from weddings were written by the bride and signed with both names.  The only difference is if it was a shower gift, in which case it was only from the bride. 

Post # 9
Member
820 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Definitely definitely sign both names! The gifts are for both of you, even if he didn’t pick them out!!!!  

Wait, so really, shower TY’s I should only sign my own name? I haven’t had my showers yet but when I go to showers I never know whether to write the card out to just the girl, or to the couple, and I also never know whether to sign my name, or both of ours. I usually go with both in both situations. Should I start just signing mine and just directing it to the bride? 

Post # 10
Member
1428 posts
Bumble bee

I agree, I would sign both of your names, and like Humarock said, have your Fiance write out some too, the gifts are for both of you. If his handwriting is atrocious (like Mr. H’s…lol), then you could write them out & have him do the signatures…ie: Love, John & Julie.

Post # 11
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I was actually just reading Emily Post for work the other day (random, yes).  She says that thank you notes are written by one person.  Open with something like "John and I absolutely love the _____, and we are looking forward to using it after the wedding.  We are looking forward to seeing you and celebrating with you at the end of the month.  Love, Julie"

Post # 12
Member
497 posts
Helper bee

Or…if you don’t feel like following Emily Post on this one, an alternative would be to word your thank you so that it was from both of you…Thank you so much for the ____.  We are both looking forward to using it., etc….then you can sign it from both of you.  (except for a shower gift).  I mean, no one is going to expect you both to write the note at the same time by sharing a pen, right?

Post # 13
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yes, since a shower is thrown for the bride, even though technically the gifts are for both of you, shower thank you’s should be signed only by you.  

Post # 14
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My fiancee and I received a thank you where both the bride and groom wrote a note (one on the top half of the card, one on the bottom), and I loved it!  That’s always an option if your fiancee is up for it!

Post # 15
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@mandalynn17-  Really?  Nobody ever told me it was bad etiquette/bad luck to use your married name before the wedding…  Who am I kidding?  I’ll probably continue to write my cards that way anyway because I don’t care enough about etiquette to change.    Thanks for the heads up, though! 

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