(Closed) Thanking guests for cash gifts when you’re cheap

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: If you gave a cash gift at a wedding, what would you hope the couple spent it on?
    Offsetting wedding costs : (17 votes)
    12 %
    Honeymoon : (28 votes)
    19 %
    Savings : (63 votes)
    44 %
    Other : (36 votes)
    25 %
  • Post # 3
    8353 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I voted savings because I am frugal too.

    I would just be truthful. That is what people vaulue the most. If you are going to put it in saving, maybe you can mention something that you are saving for, if you want to elaborate.

    Post # 4
    1103 posts
    Bumble bee

    Are you saving for anything in particular? If I got a card saying “thanks we put it in the bank” I’d probably be a bit disappointed, because I’m not frugal at all! I would have given you cash so that you could spend it on something you actually wanted, not so it could sit in the bank 🙂 If your savings are for something like travel or a house, I think that would be worth mentioning. Otherwise you could just say we haven’t decided how to spend it yet but we really appreciate it.

    Post # 6
    58 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I would be fine with hearing anything other than “offsetting wedding costs.” I can’t quite put my finger on it, but it doesn’t appeal to me.

    Perhaps you could say “your generous gift helped us start our married life on the right foot” or something vague like that.

    Post # 8
    3219 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I know my family members would be happy to hear I put money into a savings account (something I never do!)

    I would just dress it up a little say you are saving it for a rainy day or something like that.

    Post # 9
    1955 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School

    I said we were putting into the “House Saving” fund, which is not really true but does sound better than just saving it for a rainy day!

    Post # 10
    331 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Ditto on the saving for a house–even if its really long term, it still sounds better than just saving the money.

    We said something like “thanks for your generous gift. we’re really excited to start working on our house together.” For a few people we listed a specific project, but mostly just said something about working on our house in general.

    Post # 11
    1079 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Honeymoon. Things on the registry I really want and will use a lot but wouldn’t spend money on otherwise. Toward the down payment on a house. I feel that people are contributing the start of our marriage – I want them to know I respect that. I think the house is the only way you can get away with putting the money in savings.

    Post # 12
    5778 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I have never once received a thank you card specifying what they plan on doing with my gift (and we always give cash). I think it would be rather odd to hear it anyway,and would really just prefer ‘Thank you for coming to our wedding and for your generous gift.’ Keep it simple.

    Post # 13
    2344 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    We used a lot of our wedding money to keep us afloat these past couple months while I don’t have a job. The rest is in savings. But I didn’t like how that sounded, so I say the same thing for every cash gift: “We are using it towards furnishing our home.”

    Post # 14
    484 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Honestly, I always give a cash gift for weddings and I do not care one way or another what they use it on… and i dont even feel its necessary to explain what you used it for… A simple thank you that we gave them a gift is enough for me…

    Post # 15
    3564 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I would not care what the couple spent it on. Who am I to say what they should/should not be spending their money on? Once I give it, it’s out of my hands and out of my mind. I know that when we get cash for the wedding, there isn’t one particular thing that it will go toward. I’ll have to figure out how to word that in the thank you card–I might just say, “Thank you for your generous gift.”

    Post # 16
    18637 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I think I would say that it was for savings for a home downpayment (even if it’s not in the near future).

    We said that we were using ours for a honeymoon/furnishing our new place after moving but we didn’t really do either.  Oh well!

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