(Closed) Thanks for the interest in my wedding, but…

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
46408 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It is rude and presumptuous of her to expect to attend your wedding. Sometimes people take you by surprise when they raise this or any other subject, but in the long run it is much easier to deal with it at the time.

” I’m sorry, we are having a small intimate wedding and I will nor be able to invite everyone I would like to.(even if she is not someone you would like to invite, you will be gracious).

Post # 4
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

Personally, i’d ignore it. She’ll figure out she’s not invited when she doesn’t get an invitation. 

Post # 5
11356 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I would be very polite, but I would try to nip this in the bud as soon as possible to avoid any ongoing confusion on her part. 

The next time Beth inquires about your wedding, I would say something like, “You are so sweet to ask! I appreciate your taking the time to be interested, especially since we really do not know each other very well.  Also, now that I have a moment to chat, I need to clarify something.  I know that you had expressed some interest in attending my wedding, and I am very flattered that you would be interested! However, I need to let you know that, as much as we would love to invite everyone we know to share this special day with us, our guest list actually is going to be limited to our family members and very close friends.  I hope you understand.

If she asks again to see a pic of your dress, I would say something such as, “Well it is beautiful, and I am so excited about it! However, for now, I am not really showing people pics of the dress.”

Post # 6
1415 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yeah, I think some people are just like, that ‘ooh when is it, I can’t wait.’ You can just ignore them, their comments are harmless–they’ll figure it out when they don’t get an invitation. 

Post # 8
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ignore it for now, but also nip it in the bud- if she says anything else, then just smile and say that the wedding is going to be very small, and you won’t be able to invite everyone you hoped to. And walk away.

Post # 9
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

@red_rose: yes I agree.  Ignore in the begining but if someone pushes it just reply that it’s so nice of them to want to celebrate with you but you’re having a very small wedding for family and close friends.  leave it at that.

Post # 10
246 posts
Helper bee

Very late comment, but my two cents: Don’t talk about your wedding to people you don’t intend to invite.


That goes for posting details on Facebook that you know non-invitees will see in their newsfeed and comment upon.

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