(Closed) Thanks for the surprise flowers, but… I don’t like them

posted 9 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What should I do?

    Suck it up and say nothing other than Thank you

    Say something in a few weeks

    Keep leaving flower catalogs on his desk (with your choices circled) and hope he gets the hint

    Other (answer below)

  • Post # 17
    382 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    Buy some on your own for the house. Place them in an obvious spot. Gush over how you couldn’t resist because they were so beautiful.

    My ex used to buy me the neon-color dyed daisies.  Not my style.  One of my friends was with him while buying flowers once and she pointed him in another direction – he got the hint.

    Post # 18
    3788 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Buy yourself flowers once in a while. It’s one thing to mention “gerbera daisies” but if your DH is like mine, those words are probably meaningless. If he gets used to seeing what you like, he might be more inclined to pick something similar next time.

    My DH got me a potted mum and left it on the kitchen table once. It’s the thought that counts, right? 😛

     LOL — bluewolverine and I replied at the same time.

    Post # 19
    1291 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I agree with the others about “sucking it up”…I think it is so thoughtful and kind that he sends any kind of flower honestly. 

    Subtle hints would be the course of action to take, if you must, but if it doesn’t work I think that flowers (although not your favorite) are better than NO flowers at all. Smile

    Post # 20
    3622 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I don’t say “suck it up” because it sounds like he buys you flowers pretty often. I’d say something casually. Like “I love that you buy me flowers. My favorite kind is ___ since they’re beautiful and don’t get pollen everywhere.” Maybe that’s just me because Fiance and I are pretty open, and it’s not said to hurt his feelings! Definitely thank him a lot though so he knows that you do appreciate it.

    Post # 21
    2085 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012 - Pippin Hill Farm & Vineyards

    Don’t say anything, but when he does give you the florwers you love, go crazy with excitement! 🙂

    Post # 22
    4334 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Yes! To echo what others said- what a great idea– buy some yourself! Since “gerbera daisy” probably means nothing to him!

    Post # 23
    5843 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I voted tell him in a few weeks. I used to have this problem with DH. He always sent flowers on our dating anniversary and after a few bad batches I literally sat him down and told him “Orchids or Peonies or Sunflowers, DO NOT buy me roses”. He didn’t get upset, he thinks flowers are insanely overpriced to begin with (they are) and didn’t want to waste money on something I didn’t really enjoy.

    Post # 24
    3482 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I find it’s less hurtful and more likely to get people to change your behavior if they see something is negatively affecting you. Maybe you could try purposefully picking them up and moving them into another room, saying, “The perfume from those lillies is making my eyes water, it’s so strong!” If he thinks they’re causing you discomfort from the strong perfume, he’ll be less inclined to get them again.


    Post # 25
    1412 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    View original reply
    @hopefloats This.

    Post # 26
    5295 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 1993

    If it’s just a one-time deal, suck it up. But if he does it regularly, I would say something. Either buy some that you like to place in the house or mention oh’ they were pretty but they got pollen everywhere or I think they agitated my allergies so maybe I should stay away from them’

    I’ve found that guys aren’t always the greatest on picking up on subtle hints…..sometimes you gotta beat them over the head with it!

    But I look at it from my perspective – if I have been getting something for him (maybe cooking a meal) that I think he loves, and it turns out he actually hates that and would prefer something else – I’d want to know so I could make what he loves!

    Post # 28
    6889 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I agree with PP to suck it up.. I so wouldn’t complain if my DH bought me flowers even if it was flowers I hated!

    Post # 29
    1756 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I talked to my husband about this, and he says that Pro-flowers and 1-800-Flowers all go through the same local florist in each area. If you do a bit of research, you might be able to figure out which florist they use in your area. When my husband ordered flowers for his mom when he lived in England (she lives in Cape Cod), the florist knew his mother and totally changed his order to something she’d like. Now, he just contacts that florist and says, “I want to spend $X. Send flowers to my mom.” Perhaps you could contact that florist and let them know your preferences.

    Or, you could tell your husband that you’re friends with [name of friend] who always uses [name of local florist] and they are fantastic and you want to make sure your money goes to a local business. Then, stop by [local florist] and tell them about your situation.

    Post # 30
    1212 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    hmmm, anyway you can keep ‘accidently’ staining some of his things with the pollen? that might work lol!!


    I say suck it up – Fiance buys me flowers the odd time and it’s hit and miss (grocery store, sometimes the sale ones lol), but there was a relationship rocky period of time a year ago when I got none for about 9 months – that was waaaayyyyy worse than getting some and learning to like them!


    ETA: really like the trying to figure out the florist and talking to them idea!

    Post # 31
    9816 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Get a bouquet of flowers you do love and put them out. Say “Aren’t these pretty? I just love them!”

    If he takes the hint, awesome. If he doesn’t just try to appreciate the gesture. I’d love some flowers occasionally.

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