(Closed) thanks u cards

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@countrygirllove:  ASAP is always preferred, but I think etiquette-wise you have up to 1 year from the event to send; and of course it’s always better to send one late than never at all.

Post # 4
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

ASAP!  I think the one year rule is not appropriate at all… My mom is old school and if she doesn’t get a thank you card within 3 months or so, she is not a happy camper…. and I think she is right!

Post # 5
24 posts
  • Wedding: July 2012

I got married in July and sent them on September. It took that long to write them all!!! But I really think within 3-6 months is acceptable

Post # 6
8570 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’ve always heard to start working on them after the honeymoon, sending them out asap.

Post # 7
3356 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
@memorialbride13:  It is not correct that you have one year to send thank you notes.  Guests have up to a year to give a gift, you don’t have a year to thank them.

Thank you notes should be sent as soon as humanly possibly.  Ideally, the same day the gift is received.  Though guests should be more forgiving of your honeymoon time, and at the volume you will have to send. 

Most etiquette experts give you 3 months maximum.

Post # 8
11734 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

ASAP – I personally wouldn’t let it go past 3 months. 

Post # 9
1915 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I would send them out as you get gifts.  It will make it a lot easier for you.  I had written all of my thank you notes up until I went to my wedding and even then it took me three weeks to finish the rest of them.

Post # 10
525 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Hmmm… this is interesting. Everyone I know in Canada who has gotten married has gone by the “you have 1 year to send thank you cards”. Perhaps it’s a regional thing? I do agree though that a year is a long time to wait. I’d rather get them done sooner so I don’t get busy and forget to send them.

Post # 11
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I sent shower thank yous the next day.  For our wedding thank yous, we used photo cards with pictures from the wedding, so those took a month to come back.  Still sent them all within about 6 weeks.  You just have to hunker down and do it – make Hubby write ones to his family and you do yours.

Post # 12
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

Emily Post says asap-within 3 months.I send thank yous for early gifts before the wedding right away, which saved a lot of time.

One year is the timeframe for guests to send gifts.

Post # 13
1692 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@Mulan05:  I have had six-some decades in this country, in different places ad mare usque ad mari, and I can assure you that no, letting one’s gratitude grow stale for a year before expressing it is NOT an acceptable Canadian norm. Gratitude should be expressed before you fall asleep on the day that a gift or favour was received, or in extenuating circumstances as soon afterward as is humanly possible.

There are variations in thought, of course. But they tend to be variations with ethnic background and social circle, rather than from region to region.

And that is why standard etiquette exists: because in a multicultural mosiac we are always coming in close contact with — even marrying with — people of different backgrounds. And the delayed thanks that might be perfectly acceptable in the circles whose weddings you have been attending, might be quite offensive in your various inlaws’ circles. Since no-one can object to being thanked more promptly than expected, brides are well advised to follow the advice of formal etiquette that sets three months as a generous outside limit that takes all possible extenuating circumstances into account.

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