- 6 years ago
I have been a lurker occasionally and then recently started commenting. I have been dating my SO for almost two years. I am 28 and he’s 32 and we’ve both been in LTRs before. We were really conscientious about building the type of relationship we want, but we have also been dealt the curveball of health problems, the way he has cared for me has just made us closer and shown us just how much we care for each other and what we can endure and come through stronger.
We are on the same page about getting engaged and married and together we went and met with a jeweler, picked out a stone, and ordered an ering. It was finished and delivered a month or so ago. We agreed we should wait until after his cousin’s wedding in mid-september to get engaged so as not to take any attention away. But to get engaged before mid-november to avoid the holiday season. I thought that having the ring would make me calmer but it did the opposite. Instead of being calmer I got a little crazy but kept it to myself. Then his little sister got engaged to her boyfriend of many years. It didn’t help that it happened right after we had a fight, but I freaked out and all my insecurities about us and his family came out irrationally. I was really a hot mess and didn’t even know why.
I made no sense to myself and I was embarrassed by my reaction. But then I read the waiting boards and realized I was having trouble with feeling like I had no power, no say, because even though I have had a lot of say in the process, it’s now out of my hands. And reading your posts really helped me process my feelings and I am really really chill about the whole thing now. I apologized to him and at his urging I explained what I had been feeling. And we haven’t talked about it since (several weeks.) Everyone on my FB is getting engaged and I don’t care anymore. I might need some help staying chill once his cousin’s wedding happens and proposal season opens, but for now I’m happy and sane. I really don’t know if I would have been able to work through it without reading your posts, so thanks waiting bees!