Thanksgiving Family Drama

posted 1 year ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

View original reply
ohsomrsr15 :  would it be cheaper to rent a car or Uber to and from the house you could potentially stay at then get the hotel room?

Post # 3
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

People don’t really think rationally in the throws of a sudden tragedy- so I wouldn’t take it that personally. I think staying in a hotel is the best thing right now- and you guys should be a little more compassionate towards the other family members suffering this big loss. It’s not really about you right now…Also, rent a car, find an uber, lyft or taxi…. Not the end of the world.

Post # 4
Member
3466 posts
Sugar bee

It’d be better if your husband relegated his oh so hurt feelings about being offered options on where to stay other than your in-laws, and see how he could help those who are really hurting due to the loss of a loved one.

 

Post # 5
Member
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

Not to mention hosting during the holidays is already stressful, now adding the loss and huge life adjustment of bringing in a parent to MOVE IN with them…. Yeah. Not about you.

Post # 6
Member
573 posts
Busy bee

this sounds like a tough situation and like his parents are dealing with a lot right now.  i wouldn’t jump to any conclusions that you will have to stay in a hotel everytime you visit them going forward or that their actions somehow indicate that they aren’t interested in seeing you or having you visit.  i would talk to his family and say that this situation doesn’t really work for you before immediately jumping to not going to visit.  

did his parents propose any options for getting to their house when they suggested that you stay at this other house?  obviously they know you don’t have a car.  could he borrow one of his parents’ cars for a few days?

can you talk to SIL and see if she would be open to the idea of driving home after thanksgiving?  since she is only an hour away, maybe you guys could also stay at her house with them rather than at this random empty house if she and your husband are close? 

 

Post # 7
Member
320 posts
Helper bee

Why don’t you rent a car,? How do you get around when you go to visit. Do you expect your relatives to drive you around as well as put yous up in their house.

 

I just reread your ok and you haven’t even been told to get a hotel..you’ve been offered alternative accommodation. You are sounding pretty entitled now. Surely it’s easier for you and DH to drive 30mims away than SIL to drive an hour at end of the night…with a toddler.

Post # 8
Member
1055 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

So they just lost a loved one and have to abruptly move an elderly family member into their home AND host for the holidays but you’re put out that your convenience wasn’t their first consideration? Maybe that’s why you got put out first…..

Post # 9
Member
699 posts
Busy bee

There is no “family drama” here — unless you create it by causing a fuss. Do like most of the rest of folks do when they travel: a) rent a car/take an Uber b) book hotel/Airbnb. Address accommodations for future visits after the family has had a moment to grieve. My goodness. 

Post # 10
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

Please be kind to your in-laws. Don’t exoect them to accomodate you, actually if possible do some of the cooking, and cleaning up. They need all the help they can get, they’re having a hard time not you!  be a grown up and find ways to get around. About SIL, I’m a little shaken that you would want HER to drive a whole hour at night with a child. Nope. 

Talk to your husband. Be kind. Be adults.

Post # 11
Member
1179 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Stop creating problems. Rent a car for fuck’s sake, it’s way cheaper than $800.

Post # 12
Member
750 posts
Busy bee

Renting a car and just adapting to the changes that have come about, for now, is probably the best thing to do.

This isn’t family drama. This is major upheavel in people’s live due to a tragic event. Calm down and work around them.

Post # 13
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee

This is so incredibly stupid. Please come up with some compassion. 

Post # 14
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
ohsomrsr15 :  OP you are the only person here creating drama.  Your in laws are experiencing a shocking loss and are also taking his grandfather into their home quite unexpectedly.  Have some compassion for crying out loud. It sounds as though they have given you an option for free accommodation.  Rent a car and use it. And your insinuation that the sister should drive her 2 year old an hour makes you sound entitled and selfish.  Consider if the shoe were on the other foot and this was your grandparents and parents experiencing this kind of tragedy over the holidays of all times.  Get your head out of your ass and offer them whatever they need right now to get through such a difficult time.  A little compassion goes a long way. 

Post # 15
Member
1454 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

View original reply
ohsomrsr15 :  “Now, I don’t anyone to think we are being inconsiderate (or maybe we are?)”

Answer is yes. Yes we do think you are being inconsiderate. Because you are being very inconsiderate. 

“considering the tough situtation with Darling Husband step-grandmorether.”

OK so you don’t even need us to tell you  that this is a tough situation. Somehow that makes it even worse that you aren’t showing much compassion.

The news came as such a shock and we are devastated that this is happening,”

I gotta be honest you don’t seem all that devastated though? Unless you mean devastated that you now have to rent a car or get a hotel room…?

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