Thanksgiving Family Drama

posted 1 year ago in The Lounge
Post # 17
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

And I’m sorry but referring to a family members death as drama is just so absolutely callous and inappropriate.  I somehow doubt you when you say you are “devastated” when your biggest concern is your holiday accommodations. 

Post # 19
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

They don’t need to “consult ” you. This is what’s happening and I’m not surprised they don’t want you guys camped out on an air mattress in their living room whilst they manage a tragedy.  I’m certain the last thing they’d want is to have to host you and your husband and serve as your personal chauffeur during your visit.  Seriously stop making this about you.

Post # 20
Member
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2019

Maybe they had already told your sil that her family can stay there before all this happened, did you ever think of that? If that would be the case would you want your mother in law to tell them they can’t stay because you need the room? Get a rent a car or uber back and fourth to the hotel. You would problary be closer than your sil who would be an hour away. Don’t stir up drama where there doesn’t need to be. Don’t you think your mil feels bad as it is that you guys can’t stay with them? Come on bee it is the holiday’s and they are about to lose their mother. 

Post # 22
Member
3466 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
ohsomrsr15 :  “I just wanted to be prepared what to tell Darling Husband when we talked about it tonight. Jeez.”

This is what you tell him: that you will be two caring adults and will not heap any worries on your in-laws. That you will be considerate of them and the pain they are experiencing, and that both of you will do whatever is necessary to help them. That is what you tell your husband. Nothing else is necessary.

Post # 23
Member
421 posts
Helper bee

What responses were you wanting to hear? That it’s totally ok to demand that SIL be forced to drive at night with a small child so you could have her accommodations instead? That sounds like what you’re wanting to do. The bottom line is that it’s your in laws home and it’s solely up to them to decide who stays there. Perhaps they chose based on what will be easier and more comfortable for them during this difficult time. They probably don’t feel up to chauffeuring able bodied adults around right now and figured you should be capable of renting a car or getting an uber.

Post # 24
Member
7577 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

If your husband feels like he is “once again getting the short stick,” then perhaps starting new traditions and celebrating thanksgiving at your own home, just as a couple, would make for happier holidays. 

Post # 25
Member
40 posts
Newbee

View original reply
ohsomrsr15 :  What else will anyone say? You both are being quite selfish and expecting them to be considerate at this awful time? How about you show some consideration for them?

You only care about your own convenience and money and then claim to be sad. You clearly aren’t bothered about your family members who are grieving if this is how you are reacting.

Post # 26
Member
285 posts
Helper bee

This is not “family drama”, which would suggest it’s some minor matter. Somebody passed away and you are the only ones creating drama. Others in the family are trying to cope with their loss.

Post # 27
Member
6066 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

Grow up. Your in-laws don’t need to be driving your butts everywhere. Rent a car and take them up on their offer of the other house. Your replies are cringey 

Post # 28
Member
9202 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
ohsomrsr15 :  “I don’t anyone to think we are being inconsiderate (or maybe we are?)” — Yes you absolutely are. Sorry someone’s death has inconvenienced you.

 

I can’t believe people sometimes.

Post # 29
Member
763 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Regarding your SIL and her child, toddlers go to bed pretty early. And 2 hours in the car for a toddler often isn’t fun for anyone. So they’d probably have to leave at like 6 to get home for bedtime. Assuming you aren’t also hauling a small child around, it makes sense for you guys to be the ones relocated, to me. It is unfortunate to feel like you’re the least important but the fact is you are probably the most mobile. I’m sure it’s nothing personal about you or your husband. 

Post # 30
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
ohsomrsr15 :  yeah the internet sucks giving honest feedback and forcing you to look hard in your truth mirror.  Does everyone in your life just tell you what you want to hear? If so, they aren’t doing you any favors. If your husband takeaway from this whole situation is that he is “once again getting the short end of the stick” then it sounds as though you two are perfectly suited for each other.  Do humanity a favor and don’t procreate. 

Seriously what type of responses did you anticipate? Genuinely curious.  People offering hair pats because your plans have been altered due to someone’s (a family member no less) death? Christ what kind of people do you associate with? Maybe y’all should skip this trip if you can’t offer any type of compassion or sympathy.  Cook your own dinner. Reflect on the actual meaning of the holiday.

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