(Closed) Thanksgiving Wedding Weekend?

posted 5 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
1341 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@anneh1990:  My parents got married Thanksgiving weekend and my mo freaked about people not coming. My grandmother gave my mother the same advice her mother (my great granmother) gave my grandmother when she and grandfather got married christmas weekend, “the people that want to be there, will be there. the ones who missed out, missed out. but in the end you get to marry the man of your dreams.”

Post # 5
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Our big wedding is Canadian thanksgiving weekend. They usually have it on Monday so everyone the 2 days after the wedding off. I didn’t do it intentionally but its worked out well. 

I say do it and don’t look back 🙂

Post # 6
1777 posts
Buzzing bee

I know you said that most are within 2 hrs driving, but for those flying thanksgiving travel is some of the worst – though Fri/Sat may be a bit less chaotic than Wed/Thur/Sun.  It sounds like that may not pertain to many.

Post # 7
881 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@anneh1990:  I think that most people will probably not mind at all and you should do what works for you. However, don’t hold a grudge if people say they have other holiday plans and cannot make it. Fiance cousin is getting married christmas weekend this year and while we plan on attending we were going to spend that weekend with my parents in another state. Now my siblings all decided the weekend before worked better so it was all good anyway (I only see my one sister and her family once a year at Christmas) but I would hope his cousin would understand if we decided to stick with our original plans. So I def. do NOT think it is rude and it seems like you have a lot of great reasons for picking that time, just dont be upset with people if they cant attend because of other plans! (which it doesn’t sound like you would be!)


PS Also dont let anyone bully you or make you feel bad about your date choice because inviting them is not forcing them to attend as PP said!!

Post # 9
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I would probably go to a Thanksgiving wedding for family, because I spend that time with family anyway, but honestly if a friend had their wedding that weekend I probably wouldn’t go, unless they were a BEST friend. That family time is just too important to me. So you might have a lower friend turnout. But if you’re more focused on family, doesn’t seem like a problem.

Post # 10
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

My only caution to you is that flying during Thanksgiving weekend is very expensive, so cost may prohibit people from traveling.  I would send out the save the dates extra early so people could get good flight prices.

Post # 11
7689 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We got married on Thanksgiving weekend (Sat. after) many years ago, but as I remember most people attended, (but most people in my family lived in town, DH’s immediate family traveled a long distance to make it, He didn’t have many extended family members.)  

Post # 12
1844 posts
Buzzing bee

@anneh1990:  I just want to caution you on, “Thanks Bees! This is making me feel better. I need to focus on “the ones who want to be there, will be.”

I have to be honest and say that I feel it is an old lady saying to make a bride feel better.  It always makes me a bit edgy and a little angry because it just isn’t true.

Here are my examples:  My stepdd felt it would be incredibly wise to marry at 18 and her mother felt the same.  She HAD to have the wedding on a Friday, in May, at 5 pm, during rush hour traffic.

First person unable to attend was my oldest Dirty Delete.  They were very close and this wasn’t a snub.  She had a new job and was in the 90 day probation period that allowed NO time off whatsoever.  She didn’t get out of work until 5 so she couldn’t attend the wedding.  It had nothing to do with “if she wants to be there, she will be.”  No, she couldn’t be.

Same wedding – my husband’s ginormous immediate family is made up of mostly teachers and engineers.  3 of the aunts are teachers.  Every one of them had contractual clauses that prohibits PTO during May as the school year is getting ready to end.  3 sets of aunts and uncles couldn’t attend because it was at 5 pm on a Friday.

One wedding planned under the guise that if they want to attend, they will (my stepdd’s words) – 1 sister and 3 aunts and uncles COULD NOT ATTEND.

I have to be honest here.  You need to ask your VIP’s and ask them to be brutally honest.  People have a natural tendency to tell couples their wedding plans are great even if they are a hot mess waiting to happen. (not saying yours is).

If you cornered me and said, “Don’t you think Thanksgiving weekend would be great for the wedding!!” I’d probably tell you that it was so I wouldn’t rain on your parade.  If you asked me, “What kind of problems do you think we would encounter if we had a Thanksgiving weekend wedding?”, I’d be far more honest and tell you that I would never in a million years fly that weekend to attend a wedding.  It is the most travelled weekend of the year and I’m not dealing with those crazy lines and delays.  I’ll send regrets and a really nice gift.

If you were local and I wasn’t having the Big Dinner with my family on Saturday I would attend.  There are many years we have to have Tday dinner on Saturday because we are a blended family and our 4 girls all have another set of parents and/or IL’s to visit also, so we don’t just celebrate on Thursday.

If your VIPs tell you it is a good idea then go for it.  But you need to be VERY gracious towards those who choose not to travel and/or attend.  Holiday weekends are not something everyone wants to give up for weddings.

Remember – it is their support, love, and friendship that matters, not whether they attend your wedding.  Don’t think that because they didn’t attend, they didn’t care.  Nothing could be further from the truth.


Post # 13
4495 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I think you’ll be fine as long as you give your guests ample planning time. Send out your Save-the-Dates as early as you can. I’m not having a holiday weekend wedding, but our wedding is on a Thursday and literally every single one of our guests is coming from out-of-state. I sent our Save-The-Date Cards out 10 months prior to the wedding so that people could start booking flights and making work arrangements. On the threads I’ve read about non-Saturday weddings (especially if they are weekday and not on a Fri or Sun either) a lot of bees felt not many guests would attend – well we have our final headcount and only 4 people aren’t coming!! Don’t let anyone discourage you – I think you’ll be okay as long as you make sure to take into consideration your guests’ planning needs.

Post # 14
2808 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

if people are flying, flights tend to be astronomically priced around holidays (trust me.. when i was flying back and forth between buffalo and boston for holidays, my normally $105 round trip flight always shot up to be like, $550 round trip).

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