(Closed) That awkward "you're not invited anymore" message

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Sarahbear:  When was the last time you spoken with them? If it has been awhile then they shouldn’t be surprised to not be getting a formal invitation.

Post # 4
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would just not send an invitation.  If they don’t initiate contact with you anyway, you probably won’t hear from them about it.

Post # 6
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ditto with what PP.

When we were first engaged, we attended FI’s cousin’s wedding and true to form, a ton of people mobbed us and were hinting (blatantly) about invitations. At that point in time, we didn’t even have a time frame or anything nailed down so we did the whole “Oh of course, hahahahaha” thing. Did we invite any of those people? No. If they ask/if we ever see these people again, it was a small, intimate wedding (which it is). To be fair, these “invitations” were extended well over a year ago.

Post # 7
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Did you send a STD to them? If so, you really should invite them still.  If not, it doesn’t matter in my opinion

Post # 8
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

So the only “invitation” was just word of mouth? A year and a half before the wedding?  I’d let it slide and wait to see if they said anything about it to you.  

Post # 10
315 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I really wouldn’t worry about it. The same thing happened to me. How akward is it when someone you hardly know or talk to anymore mention getting an invitation? Uggh. People.

I don’t really want to spend my wedding trying to catch up with people I haven’t seen in 5 years.

Post # 11
2819 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Yeah…if you didn’t send them a STD, just don’t send them an invite & be done with it.

Post # 12
174 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I wouldn’t do anything. Especially if you are always the one initiating contact, not inviting them shouldn’t be an issue. If they ask you about it later, just explain that you decided to go with a more intimate event. Good luck!

Post # 13
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I agree with many other posters, if there wasn’t an STD sent out, I wouldn’t worry about it!  I have done the same thing with some nosy neighbours of my parents who hinted they were going to “crash” my wedding… how do you answer that?! lol. I just said, “oh yeah, hah, sure, whatever” but am NOT planning on inviting them to the ceremony and dinner.  If they want to crash after the dinner I don’t really care, but they are not getting formal invites from me!  Do what you gotta do, girl!

Post # 14
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I wouldn’t send an invite.  Maybe just invite them to the dance.  My wedding is August 4th and just had a friend who I haven’t talked to in about two years ask about my wedding.  The last time I saw her I wasn’t engaged yet…..I might have to blog about that 🙂  Good luck!

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