Post # 1
Let me start by stating that I’m allergic to cats, not deathly so but allergic. I can keep it under control for the most part with allergy medicine and a hair free place to sleep.
My fiancé has a cat who is 10+ years old. This cat has some health problems that fiancé is trying to fix but it’s making the cat pee everywhere. Including in my 3 year olds bed at FIs house. When I found out the cat had pee’d there I was livid. My mom thinks the cat is peeing in DS bed because the cat doesn’t like him for taking FIs time and attention away from the cat.
My son and I are supposed to move into FI’s house in May but now I’m starting to rethink it.
Any thoughts? Am I overreacting?
Post # 2
Yes you are overreacting. I know everyone loves to think of cats as evil but I doubt an elderly cat with health issues is peeing in your sons bed out of spite. Just keep the door to his room closed.
Post # 3
to be fair I would say the same thing if it were a dog. It’s not like I’m anti cat. But thanks for the input. im trying to be rational, so I asked strangers 😋
Post # 4
I wouldn’t be okay making my toddler live in a place where a cat was peeing on their bed.
Post # 5
Not to sound harsh, but if the cat is eldery and is having health problems, is it even going to still be alive in May?
I would approach this carefully, because your Fiance is probably sensitive about the cat, what with all the health issues. So don’t bash the cat or anything, but tell him that the cat is not allowed in your DS’s room. The door must be closed at all times. That shouldn’t be hard to achieve. He just has to be diligant about not letting the cat in if he happens to open the door to go into the room, and if the cat does dash in there, he has to make sure he quickly gets the cat out again. My brother and SIL have a cat, and there are certain rooms she isn’t allowed in. They manage to keep her out (and they have two small children getting into things), so your Fiance should be able to keep him out too.
Don’t threaten to not move in. Now that IS overreacting.
For the record, I seriously doubt the cat is peeing in your son’s bed because he doesn’t like him. First of all, a bed is a good place for a cat to pee just because it’s higher up and the cat is less vulnerable during an already vulnerable time (peeing). Also, the cat probably is just comforted by your son’s scent in the bed while he isn’t there. Cats like to pee in places they feel comfortable (like on a high elevation, or among a scent that gives them comfort).
Post # 6
Yes, you are overreacting. That poor cat…
Post # 7
I am extreme cat (and dog) lover and treat them like humans, but this crosses the line. Obviously he isn’t doing it for a specific reason, and he is older, but he pees in a bed where your child is sleeping. That is an issue to be addressed but trust me, cat is not thinking of ways to punish you haha.
Just keep your eye on a bed and dont let the cat pee there again. Hopefully he will learn. And maybe put more litter boxes around the house so he can go there when he has to (since he has bladder problem).
Post # 8
I definitely think this can be solved by just keeping the door to your son’s room closed. It sounds like that’s the only reason you’re considering not moving in, because your allergies are under control, but with such a simple fix I can’t see what else would be causing problems.
Post # 9
Ok, I totally get why you’re stressed out, but first piece of advice is rather than venting to your mother, you should be working through this with your fiancé. I don’t think flat out refusing to move is a very productive solution. PP’s suggestion to close the door to your son’s room is a good one. As for your allergies, they make these “ cat wipes” that you wipe on the cat, which are supposed to help the cat spread less dander and really help with allergies. I’m sure a vet would have more suggestions too. Finally I’d recommend getting a plug-in pheromone dispenser (you can order these on Amazon). These help keep cats calm and may help prevent peeing outside the litter box.
Good luck! meowwww
Post # 10
Thanks so much for all of your input. I didn’t want to overreact to Fiance so I did here. With a no holds back no filter post on the topic.
So an update on the cat- after a sleepover at the vets office hey found crystals in his urine and and changed his food to hills prescription urinary care. So far so good, he actually had pee clumps in the litter box.
There are a few lore things up in th air about moving in some regarding the cat some not. But as far as the cat it will be considered closer to then. Maybe the cat will become nicer and stop trying to bite us.
I know it is usually not a good idea to vent to parents about your partner. But non of this is typical as my parents have known him longer than I have. My step dad has known Fiance for 28 years. Many times venting to her offers good advice and calms me. Obviously that wasn’t the case in this instance.