Post # 1
After looking for someone for a really long time, I finally met my SO a year ago and we’ve been together for almost 9 now. We’re both in our late 30s and were single for a long time until we got together. I have a large circle of friends and spend a lot of time with my single friends until I started seeing my SO. I still see them (although not as much) and most of my friends are really happy for me. But I have one friend who continuously gives me grief.
When I started seeing my SO she was always trying to find ways for me to question if he was in the relationship as much as me. Last time I had coffee with her she was wondering why we hadn’t moved in together yet and thought it was “weird” thay we hadn’t. Its really none of her business! And I started a new job 3 months ago and am now working 12 hour shifts (alternating between night and day) and am working every second weekend. Needless to say I don’t have as much time to spend with friends as I used to.
Now I just got a text from her wondering if I’m mad at her because she hasn’t heard from me much lately. I saw her 2 weeks ago at a party, last weekend she was at a wedding, and this weekend I worked nights. Twice now I’ve made plans with people that included her (at her suggestion) and she backed out at the last minute. I know its hard for her to see one of her single friends meet someone and have less time for her. She has lots of other friends and doesn’t lack for things to do. It’s frustrating…
Post # 3
You need to ignore that stuff. Just let it roll off your back. well-meaning friends sometimes cause unneeded tension when they get a member of a relationship “to thinking” about things that were not a problem before.
As far as drifting from single friends….that happens. As a single friend who had to cope with my friends marrying before me, I did the drifting. I saw how awkward it was for me when the husbands suddenly became apart of the best friendship. I mean to the point of he won’t even let us have a conversation by ourselves….and I didn’t like him commenting on my business when I didn’t tell it to him. I know peope in relationships talk about their friends, but I thought it was an unwritten code that the man in the relationship is supposed to act like the best friend never told him anything. This man, no. He would talk about my business as if I’d told him myself. I did not like that at all.
anyways, I’d just tell the friend that you’ve both been busy. Obviously, you both have. Meet up with her, but if she makes you uncomfortable with certain talk, just cut that talk off. like with the living together thing, I would have said, “We’re happy with things as they are.” and I would have said it in a “conversation over” type voice and change the subject.
You might have to do that a few times and she’ll understand that she can tell you what she thinks, but a federal case will not be made.
Post # 4
I have a similar friend…She is 5 years older then me..and still single..she constantly complaints about her life and that she is single…And I feel that she is constantly questioning my relationships with fiance…anyways, it feels to me that she is jelouse and I started avoiding her…I don’t need any bad energy around at this happy moment of my life 🙂