Post # 1
Remember that back handed compliment about how I supposedly had a tummy tuck? I posted awhile ago about this: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/a-back-handed-compliment
I’m heading to my college town this weekend for an anniversary thing. Our sorority is 30 years old! And I found out that the person who is spreading this rumor about me, A, is going to be there.
If I see A, do i say anything? Or casually mention, "so, I hear you think I had a tummy tuck done?" Then make a snarky comment about how diet and exercise does a body good? Or perhaps hand her my personal trainers’ card?!??!! Or not because that would give her the satisfaction of knowing it got under my skin? Ah, the satisfaction of getting even. I am in significantly better shape than when I graduated college. I shed some weight I gained after a surgical procedure and have been hitting the gym like a maniac so i rock my frock. And like every woman in the world, I am paranoid about people talking crap about me behind my back! I want to confront the situation head on. It just really gets me mad, even though i’m sure it’s a jealousy thing or something to be mean, etc.
It really makes me angry that someone is speculating like this and I don’t want people thinking about me like that. You know how gossip is. NOt to mention, I am one of those people that always says, "man i wish I would have said something" whenever someone does something to wrong me. If I don’t say anything, will I regret it?
Any advice on how to rise above this or handle any situation that arises? If people comment on my newfound flatter tummy, I’m obviously going to just say, "Thanks i’ve been working out a lot and watching what I eat like crazy!" but….
Ugh. Now that I found out she’s going to be there, I’m all angry/anxious about running into her and crap and need some advice on what to do. I don’t brush things off as well as I would like to. THanks!
Post # 3
Hmm, that’s a difficult one. First congrats on "rocking your frock" as you say. I know that I personally would be thinking about all the awesome snarky things I could say to this chick in my head. I’m not sure, however, if it would do any good? (other than to probably make you feel better for a second). I would guess it’s probably best to ignore it unless it comes up. Otherwise the whole weekend will end up being centered around the tummy tuck issue. I mean you can definitely use humor should the issue come up. Say what you were going to say about working out a lot, etc, and say something like well i heard a rumor i got a tummy tuck-if I had known i would have stopped working out so hard! you know, be graceful about it. It will make you look better and this stupid A chick look like a total b****. Just a thought? Hope it goes well-just try and relax and I’m sure it’ll be fine!
Post # 4
Just wear the most amazing outfits, I’m sure all the other girls are going to be complementing you left and right and just over do it a little with the very enthusiastic "THANKS!!!" and even throw in a few "I Knows!" when someone gives your a complement. Just flatter yourself by saying how committed you’ve been and how proud you are of yourself. You did work hard and if you appear & sound very confident it will really drive the girl who started the rumor crazy!
Have fun being Fabolous!
Post # 5
Ugh, sorority cattyness. Been there…and fought back!!
I would be graceful about it, you can’t go in there being all bitchy and expect to come out the better person. No that you would or anything, but still. This comes from my experience. But of course you’ve got to approach her and let her know her comments were hurtful, dishonest, and unwelcome. Honestly, I think I’d catch her while she had a group of people around her (so there are witnesses) and with my best honey voice go "So, I heard through the grapevine that you couldn’t believe the success I had with my new trainer and just wrote it off as a tummy tuck! Ohmygoodness, my trainer is fabulous!!" and then start gushing like there isn’t a care in the world. Remember, you have to play like there isn’t a care in the world. As soon as people see you’re not hung up on it they’ll realize how badly a light is cast upon this girl. Trust me!
Post # 6
You are all so right. I hate to just "let it slide" because I think it just needs to be confronted. I hate when I let things slide because I tend to take the high road and be the better person all too often. It’s ridiculous. And rude. And STUPID. And it depends on the situation i run into her in and how that plays out, too. I can’t just walk over to her table, really….But I’m going to play it nice for sure…bitchiness never gets you anywhere, just makes you look defensive and like it got to you too much….just *how* to play it out right is an issue.
*sigh* i really just want to walk up to her table and say, "well, I hear you think i had a tummy tuck so I thought i’d give you my trainer’s card. He’s wonderful and works miracles" and then saunter off like my bad self! She lives in Texas, so it’s not like she’s going to call him or anything, haha.
If only. Ugh.
Post # 7
Ugh! I can only imagine the butterflies in your stomach, knowing that you’re going to see her. Here is my take on people who gossip: if they’re talking about you, you must be doing something right. If they’re taking the time and energy and breath to spread rumors and lies, you must have made an impact somewhere in their lives. So for that, good for you! I’m like you in that I always say "Man, I wish I had said something" after the fact. Or I’ll have something SO GOOD planned, and chicken out at the last minute. In your situation, I’d try to make a joke out of it if your health/weight/figure comes up in conversation. If how you look doesn’t come up, maybe leave it alone. I think for me it would depend on which glass of wine I was on 😉 At the very least, they’re talking about how GOOD you look. Let ’em talk, you know the truth.
Post # 8
If someone brings it up in front of her or brings it up period just say that she gave you the docs number because she used him for her FIRST tummy tuck.
Post # 9
Don’t be snarky. Be polite,and tell anyone who asks you gained your physique by exercse alone, then pass along your trainer’s name.
Post # 10
Ugh, the whole thing has been eating at me all day! I wish I could just let things go easier.
Girls can be such B*tches, man! I think i’m going to wing it….if i end up talking to her (i really hope i don’t, i just don’t like this girl in general, never did) i’ll wing it. I MIGHT say something, but then again, I might chicken out and try to be above it. But if i’m in a group setting or something and she’s there, I will of course mention that i have a fabulous trainer or started taking ballet classes…which I have! If she makes a snort or something, I’ll just come right out and say something. She’s just that type of a person…whaaaatever.
I picked out a fitted dress specifically for the nice dinner tomorrow night that i’m excited to wear! I’m not going to let her influence me into picking something less fitted. I’ll keep you all informed =]
Post # 11
I say take the high road and don’t bring it up. If A mentions something to you, I would say something like "yep, diet and excercise does amazing things" or something along those lines.
Post # 12
Update: That girl never even showed up! One of her friends came up to me and gushed about ‘omigosh, how skinny’ i was. I’m not sure if it was meant in that good way; she sounded more shocked than anything, but it made me all giddy inside that somebody noticed! My coworkers don’t notice, obviously, and my Fiance is just "Yeah you always look good", etc. I think a size 8 pants is good for my height. I told her all about my trainer and how great he is, though, and she commented about hiring one herself at some point.
I’m sure the news will trickle back slowly