(Closed) That’s Ma’am to you!

posted 7 years ago in Career
Post # 3
Member
3866 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Where I live, calling someone “hun, sweetheart, dear, darlin’, etc” is all part of being in the south.  

I’ve done it and still do it and I have people doing it to me on a near-daily basis.  It’s part of being in the South.

If you don’t like it, just ask the person, politely, to not call you that.  *shrugs* I grew up with it, so I could care less, unless it’s in a guy saying it in the hopes of getting in my pants…  

Post # 4
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I don’t really like being called sweetheart or hun by anyone but I try not to let it piss me off.  I imagine it’s a habit for most people. 

Post # 5
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Where I’m at only little old ladies say that to people.  I only ever call children that.  If somebody doesn’t know me it is so awkward for them to use an endearment like that.  Its awful that she said that to you in a condescending voice on top of it.  I’ve had some men do the same thing to me at work in the last few months.  

Post # 5
Member
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I am from the south and I understand how you feel. Although it doesn’t bother me, it bothers my mama. I normally hear older people say it, and when I hear younger people say it I feel like they are just trying to be really nice. I have to admit that I would prefer to hear sweetie over ma’am. I just turned 25 today (YAY ME!)LOL and I feel like being called ma’am makes me feel old. 

Post # 6
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

The hubs and I went out for dinner the other week and the waitress kept calling me hun.  She was clearly in her early 20s, I am in my 30s, so it was a bit weird.  Hubby and I chuckled over it.  She meant well.

When we went to NOLA, the waitresses called hubby and me ‘babe’, now THAT was something I needed to get used to. Especially, since she she started with hubby. I first thought she was hitting on him with me sitting right there!

Now, if someone called me sweetheart while being rude, that would not be ok!  Do you think she was rude because she called you sweetheart, or did she do anything else to make you feel this way?

I must admit, I don’t like being called Ma’am.  It makes me feel old.  I prefer Ms.

Post # 7
Member
677 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

In my experience that’s a Southern thing – my quick way of nipping it in the bud when I feel like it’s someone who shouldn’t be “sweethearting” me is to smile and very politely say “I’m Ms. {last name}.” and carry on – it’s usually enough of a hint for people that that degree of familiarity isn’t welcome.

ETA – And I’m “old enough” now to be Ma’am’d 🙂

Post # 8
Member
2422 posts
Buzzing bee

I know this is a cultural/regional thing for a lot of people but I really hate being called sweetheart/darling/etc. by strangers. It really skeeves me out. 

Post # 9
Member
238 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sorry but I can’t imagine being upset by this, or even really giving it a second thought. I don’t know if you’ve ever worked in the service industry, but sometimes it feels like you can do no right! You need to cut people a little slack. I was raised to call people ‘Sir’ and “Ma’am” and always be polite, but sometimes women would get mad at me for calling them Ma’am! Some women would take offense as if I had called them “Old Crone” or something! Don’t be like those ridiculous women and get worked up over nothing.

Post # 10
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m not trying to play advocate here, but, I oftentimes call people ‘hun’ or ‘sweety’ lately out of concern.  Like when someone comes to me with an issue I’m usually all, ‘aw, sweetie, let me help.’ 

I’m not sure why, I’ve just been more caring lately.

Other than that, I have heard that said in a very condescending way.  To me it all matters on tone of voice.

Post # 12
Member
843 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

For me it’s a regional thing.  I’m from the south and it’s pretty common to hear that from anyone, no matter their age.  I’ve never found it very offensive, more endearing.  But to each their own and I can see how this can be offensive to someone else!  I’m sorry that she did that to you.

Post # 14
Member
10 posts
Newbee

It is honestly a regional thing and you never know where people are from.  They might orignally be from the South but moved to the North or vice versa.  If they were raised in an area where people say “sweetheart” or “ma’am” then that is what they know and are used to.  If it were me I wouldn’t get upset over it, just smile and walk away.

Post # 15
Member
2018 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Even though I’m from California, I must have a touch of Scarlett in me because I like the tradition of calling people “hon”, “sweetie” and “dear”.  I say things like, “thank you my dear” if I’ve had particularly good customer service or a good rapport with a salesperson.  And it certainly doesn’t bother me if someone uses those endearments.

The thing that irks me is “ma’am”.  Why can’t I still be a “miss”???

 

@Floridagirl2010: I worked with someone the same age as me and she got her panties in a knot about me calling her “dear” and such.  But she never said anything to me-just let me go on and I found out from someone else because she was complaining behind my back. If it bothered her so much, she just had to tell me politely to stop and I would have.  Urg! I hate passive-aggressive people! lol

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