(Closed) The 1/13/14 Waiting List

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 47
Member
2424 posts
Buzzing bee

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@MissHoney:  So I found the Bee a few months into my relationship when I realized that my BF and I would have to do LDR after we graduated from college. I was google searching things like ‘how to decide whether to start long distance relationship’ and ‘what to talk about before starting a long distance relationship’ and some threads from the Bee popped up. It was really helpful for me because people on this site gave awesome advice. However, I didn’t make an account or because I didn’t feel like I really fit in on a wedding website. I’d occasionally come back to read the threads though, so I guess I was just lurking in the shadows.

Then this summer, my BF started talking about moving in together and marriage and kids. He’d make comments and we’d talk and whatnot. At the end of August, after our 2 yr anniversary, I thought I might as well make an account and socialize on this website that I keep coming back to occasionally. Initially I was shy, but I asked to be put on the waiting list a few weeks after I joined. I was just so excited and thought that things were moving along a bit faster than I originally though they would but that was totally fine for me.

More recently I’ve figured out that my boyfriend isn’t actually ready to move as quickly as I thought he was indicating beforehand. I found out because we were talking about marriage and he said he’d like to be financially stable before he gets married. That sounds totally reasonable until you realize that he’s applying for PhD programs and will be in school for another 5 years. I think I should also be graduating with my doctorate 5 years from now, but I wouldn’t mind getting married while still in school and my parents keep hinting that they’d be supportive of that.

I understand where he’s coming from on the wanting to be financially secure, but sometimes I feel like at my age a total of 7+ years is a long time to wait. Then other times I feel like it’s fine because as long as our relationship is working well and we’re happy that’s all that matters. I don’t think it’s something I want to bring up with him right now because I think the LDR is somewhat holding us back, but I will bring it up to him in the next few months when he figures out the PhD business and it looks more certain that I’ll be moving to where he is. He’s hoping to stay at his home program for his PhD, but who knows what will happen. To be clear, though, I’m also applying to grad school next year so I’m not looking at this as necessarily a long-term move unless it works out that we both get into schools that are in the same city, which would be absolutely amazing.

Wow, I’ve written a lot! But yeah, I’m waiting with what I thought was turning into a plan that didn’t actually materialize. Sigh, well at least he told me he thinks we’ll be together for a few billion years. I’ll take that for now because it seems like a pretty long-term future he’s planning on having with me. 😛

Post # 48
Member
66 posts
Worker bee

OK! I have my first official number on the waiting list.. Wish I had seen this sooner, when I first started really “waiting” about a year ago! I’m guessing #99 (or hoping it’s that soon!) He told me that horrible word “soon” regarding an engagement three times over the last year.  We have a ski weekend planned next month sometime, and then a cruise to the Southern Caribbean in October.  Don’t really want to wait that long….Gah!

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