The +1/guest titling on invites… am I being sensitive?

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is this...
    rude - you're not a guest! : (55 votes)
    57 %
    lady... you're jealous, get over it! : (21 votes)
    22 %
    at least you were invited :) : (21 votes)
    22 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    1264 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    I think it’s pretty rude to not have your name on there.
    Many of my cousins and friends I don’t see as often have SO’s I’ve never met and/or don’t know the names of. I simply reached out and asked for their full names which appeared on the save the dates and invitations. In my opinion, plus 1’s are for single guests who you have no idea who they are bringing.

    Post # 3
    Member
    3735 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

    clipclop1023 :  I personally would feel pretty put off. You have established a personal relationship with these people. Why is HE being invited with the option to bring “A guest” (I read: ANYONE he wishes)? I feel you and dont think you’re being too sensitive. Mind you, I pay little attention to ettiquite, I treat people as personably as possible whenever possible regardless of what “ettiquite” states. For my first wedding, I addressed invites to “guy’s name & girl’s name”. So did all my friends for anyone that was in an established relationship at the time.

    Post # 4
    Member
    420 posts
    Helper bee

    Do you live together? My only guess would be maybe the person doesn’t think you should address the invite to someone that doesn’t live there? Its annoying, but try to think ofit as just ignorance on their part and not a slight to you.

    Post # 5
    Member
    136 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2018

    It’s rude.  We made sure with our Save-The-Date Cards to get the names of any signficant others we are inviting.  In some cases that meant texting and making sure we had the correct spelling, etc. That said, we are not giving anyone a “guest.  Only named people are invited.  

    Post # 6
    Member
    2181 posts
    Buzzing bee

    I personally think you are being sensitive. Maybe they thought you wouldn’t be offended, that’s why they did that? I mean, you were invited, included as a SO, its the fact that your name wasn’t listed is bothering you? Did either of these couples at their weddings not know your name when talking to you? If they treated you differently I could understand being offended. Not writing out your name on an invite/ place card…..not a big enough issue to be offended by. Just my opinion though.

    Post # 7
    Member
    866 posts
    Busy bee

    I would be annoyed too, especially since there is no extra work to include you by name.

    Post # 8
    Member
    632 posts
    Busy bee

    Do you live together?

    Post # 10
    Member
    3312 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    If you don’t live together I wouldn’t worry about it & assume that is why you weren’t named on the envelope. If you do live together it’s rude af.

    Post # 11
    Member
    9174 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    we invited anyone with a +1 who was in a realtionship, no matter if it was 1 day or 50 years.

    and we also called to find out the names of everyone.  i didn’t want to write “and guest”, i wanted everyone’s names. 

    i find it rude that you were still called guest even though you have a personal realtionship with them. since your SO is a groomsman, i would have him call the friend and have him ask them if it is ok if he brings so and so (or make up someone), since it said guest.  obviously make sure they know you are joking.  it’s something my husband would do.

    Post # 13
    Member
    422 posts
    Helper bee

    Since they personally know you they should have listed your name. However, I am currently putting together my guest list and if we don’t personally know them or have a relationship with them we’re simply putting “and guest”. We’re doing this because the person invited gets a plus one either way, the “guest” would not be invited if they were to separate from the person we have listed by name.

    Post # 14
    Member
    4244 posts
    Honey bee

    We did both names for everyone UNLESS they were single and there was no actual, specific date/plus one they were bringing. Even for the SO’s of friends who we had never actually met (our friends are kind of spread out around the country). If I were in your shoes, I would also consider that to be super rude. Even if they didn’t know you, it takes 2 seconds to ask.

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