(Closed) The 3 months salary rule when purchase an e-ring? Especially for high earners

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 32
7199 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2015

@feetwilltravel:  It’s hogwash. The diamond industry put out that idea so people would buy rocks. When my SO & I got serious I had to be VERY firm with him in saying there was NO way I wanted a ring that was 3 months of his salary. I’d be afraid someone would see it from a mile away and kill me for it! 

Post # 33
2529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

My Fiance followed my rule: don’t spend too much money because if I find out this ring cost 3 months salary I will say NO.
It was my only ultimadum. Because, dude… that’s a lot of money.

He spent about 1 month’s salary (something like that, not sure exactly) on it. He saved up for a few months for it, though. I still think that’s expensive.

Basically, whatever makes HIM happy is what he should spend.
There is no need to be sweating bullets over a ring’s cost – it’s just a thing.

The three-month rule is mostly made up by the jewelry industry to get people to spend more money!!

Post # 34
580 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

We definitely didn’t spend 3 months’ salary either. Fiance makes over six figures, but I would kill him if he spent $30k on a ring. I believe he spent about 1 month salary on my ring, and that was overboard for me. On the other hand, to each their own. If you can afford it, go for it. I think a $30k ring is a bit much though. 

Post # 35
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think this ‘rule’ is CRAAAAZY!! Imagine getting a 50k ring.. how about just getting me a 5k ring and I’ll take the rest for a car??

Haha, my Fiance gave me a ring that was about 1.2 months salary, and I was surprised he spent that much! We both think that expensive jewelry is silly and does not suit our lifestyle AT ALL (although I don’t think it’s wrong for others to enjoy fine jewels!),

Post # 36
11161 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

@feetwilltravel:  It is an absurd rule and while my DH spent a great deal he most certainly did not spend three months salary as he makes well over six figures.

Post # 37
8031 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

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@joya_aspera:  I get what you’re saying.

We are definitely going quality over quantity, while still keeping a fair size for the diamond.

I have to admit though that if money were no object I probably would wear a large diamond even if it was ostentatious. I just love them. Then again, I would probably be too paranoid to leave my house haha.

Post # 38
745 posts
Busy bee

DH makes a little into the six figure area, and when we upgraded my lost e-ring we didn’t even come CLOSE to 2-3 months.  Really, not even 1 month – it was about 3 grand give or take.  That was as much as I was willing to carry around on my finger every day!  The way we looked at it, we’d rather put that chunk of change into retirement, pay off more of our student loans, savings, etc, etc.

I can understand the love of all things sparkly but you’re not talking costume jewelry, you’re talking about THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS, sometimes tens!  Sometimes I think collectively people need to wake up.  

I think it’s financially irresponsible to spend that much on a ring, IMO.  Even if you make a ton of money.  Who’s to say you’re going to have enough when you retire?  When you have a kid, maybe two?  What if someone needs to be in the hospital and you’re slammed with medical bills?  I mean that extra 20 grand or so can reeeeally come in handy at many, many other times in your life.  

The fact that our culture dictates to us what amount we “should” spend on jewelry is ridiculous, especially given that a lot of those luxury items are bought with credit or layaway…we should all think for ourselves, and ideally, invest as such.  

As always, my two cents, and no offense meant to others with differing opinions!    

Post # 40
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

That is not really a *rule*. I think that started as a gimmick from the jewelry companies to try brainwash people. Men will spend what they can afford. Just because you are a “high earner” doesnt mean you dont have mortgages, car notes, and student loans to pay off.  

Post # 41
134 posts
Blushing bee

My partner earns a very good living and I would have a fit if she spent 3 months salary on my ring. We just have differant priorities. We want to have a modest wedding also because we would rather spend that $ on travel. Also, we know that we will have to do in vitro fertilization to have a chance at having a baby. So, that is the priority. Regardless of that, I would NOT feel comfortable wearing that kind of money on my hand every day!

Post # 42
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I think that rule should be thrown out the window.

I used to joke with my Fiance about the 3-month rule, until I realized that I would be uncomfortable with wearing a five-figure ring on my hand (and the potential horror of losing it, never mind insurance, it’s the sentinmental value). Plus I kept thinking “that’s a whole CAR! That’s half a downpayment on a HOUSE!” So yeah, practicality won out in the end, much to FI’s relief. I still got a gorgeous ring too and who cares how much it cost. 😀




Post # 43
1443 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

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@joya_aspera:  I remember the 3-month rule from the 80’s when I was planning my first wedding. 

Post # 44
3099 posts
Sugar bee

@feetwilltravel:  Actually, come to think of it, DH gets paid every two weeks, and we are spending HALF of THAT on my 5 year anniversary dream ring!  So I guess we made up our own 1/4-of-a-months-salary rule for ourselves.  And I couldn’t be happier!

Post # 45
1282 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

View original reply
@solidarity:  +1.  I think I remember reading that that “rule” (urban legend) in fact was started by the diamond industry.  It was probably because most guys need structure in buying jewelry… and the advertising people (they were good you have to hand it to them) figured they would make up a nice guideline.  I think I also read in that article that they started the myth that a diamond increases in value over time.  They went on to explain that if you buy a diamond and turn around and try to sell it back to a pawn shop or a diamond buyer, will you get more money for it ever….whether it is 5 minutes or 50 years?  I wish I remembered what article it was, it was a good read.  I picked out my ring and then made sure that it was comfortable financially for my husband.  It was, so it was a done deal!

Post # 46
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@feetwilltravel:  Stupidest rule in the history of engagements. Or at least up there. 

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