Post # 16
Lol my results make me sound super materialistic, but I got 0 for words of affirmation which of course is the main way my SO expresses his love. *facepalm* haha. I imagine it is his highest love language too but will have to get him to take the quiz. I definitely much prefer actions over words and my top 2 were gifts and acts of service.
Now to buy the book.
Post # 17
howtobeawife: Thanks! We have actually been recommended to see a pre-marrital counselor but he thinks we can “work it out ourselves.” He has deep rooted feelings against professionals that go back to his childhood, so I do understand and don’t want to push, but he tends to not like things like this or even talking somethings..which is not exactly “working it out ourselves” haha!
I am glad I brought this book to some of yall’s attention, or reminded some of yall of it! I am also very happy some of yall have already read it and enjoyed it so much. It is nice to see it got so many good reviews and has done good work for yalls relationships!
- Acts of Service
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Recieving Gifts
- Physical Touch
I give him lots of praise and tell him how much I love him all the time, because somewhere inside that is how I naturally show love. But maybe that is not what he needs. His is probably Physical Touch, but that is just my guess. He tends to show me love through this gesture and is always complaining how I never hug him or cuddle him enough (obviously because I don’t need it as much..). I would much rather see him do something thoughtful without having to be asked (do the laundry, run and errand, cook a nice breakfast, plan a date, etc.) which he NEVER does without prompting.
I am really hoping he will be open to taking it so we can show eachother and better understand what we truely need. Maybe we both need to learn to “speak” eachothers language.
Post # 18
- Wedding: December 2014 - Norton Country Club
My sister and her (now) hubby read this in premarital counseling- she passed it on to me when she and I were fighting. Turns out I’m BIG Words of Affirmation receiver, but I show my love with Quality Time… my sister is big on giving Quality Time, but needs Acts of Service. It’s really interesting to me because it can apply to MOST relationships, not just the romantic ones!
I let Fiance know about the book and he was intrigued by it too… turns out we are on par for what we need, but neither of us were particularly good at giving it. We worked on that! By learning that we needed to be more affirming toward one another, we’ve caused this really positive pattern which sometimes makes the negative stuff easier to deal with. It’s almost like, “I know he loves X, Y, and Z… but A bothers him… that’s not too bad!”