(Closed) The 7 year curse

posted 4 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
5469 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

Yes.100%

Post # 3
Member
10012 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

My husband and I will hit 8 years together at the end of this month. We got married at the beginning of August. We are the strongest and happiest we’ve ever been and I love him more every single day. No drifting apart here 🙂

Post # 6
Member
5469 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2017

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lovestruck2016 :  do you feel like you’re drifting apart?  Have you talked about your fears/feelings with him? Couples can drift apart at any stage, the connection ebbs and flows. Communication is very important and quality time spent together. 

Post # 7
Member
9016 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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lovestruck2016 :  There is no such thing as a 7 year curse. Bad relationship are just that, bad relationships. Incompatible people are just that, incompatible people. A cheating douchebag is a cheating douchebag.  People and their feelings can change and they can drift apart from someone. We grow and experience things that change our views on what we want in life.

These are all valid things that can end a relationship but an arbitrary number of years together is not. 

Post # 8
Member
2117 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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lovestruck2016 :  we were married at 7.5 years of dating so im gunna say no. 

Post # 10
Member
2011 posts
Buzzing bee

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lovestruck2016 : Honestly, I think it’s only the case if you’re already having issues earlier on. I feel like people will give certain blocks of time to some things, including relationships (5 years being the most popular).

People might think, “5 years is my limit” but once you hit the 5 years, you think, “Maybe we’ll try just a little longer, I don’t want that 5 years to go to waste by giving up too soon”. Then the next thing you know you wake up two years later and nothing has changed. Then you think, “If we keep going like this, in just three years it will be an entire decade of unhappiness and I’m not okay with that. Iif only I left just two years ago, I might have met someone new by now. I’m finally done”.

TL;DR No.

Post # 11
Member
1104 posts
Bumble bee

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lovestruck2016 :  you should read this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_seven-year_itch

the source of the whole 7 year itch/split is somewhat based in fact, but there are so many other social, economical, and educational variables. much of it no longer applies. 

if a couple meets at 16 years old and stays committed through high school, that leaves them at 18 years old, and 2 years into a relationship. during that point they’ve both presumably been living at their parent’s homes and not been supporting themselves.  

if the couple continues to date through college that leaves them at 22 years old and 6 years into a relationship. so, at that point (which echoes the majority of relationships from the time period of the 7-year-itch ideal), one more year makes 7 years. 

if your entire relationship has been while you’ve been living at home, and then while you’ve been not living at home but still totally financially supported by your family, it kind of makes sense how that one extra year could make the difference. in this case, i think it’s that a couple that has been totally depandent on their families suddenly become dependent on each other, and that additional and unexpected stress destroys the relationship. 

if a relationship is strong it can stand through ridiculous stresses. if your entire relationship is basically while you’re not really a full adult…you don’t know how strong it is. 

Post # 12
Member
1168 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

That’s when my marriage fell apart, 7 years of marriage, but we had been together for 9. It had much more to do with him suddenly deciding that married/family life was boring (his opinion, not mine) than it did the actual amount of time. There were a ton of factors that played into it.

Biggest piece of advice for you, you have to find time for each other. I know life gets busy, but keeping your marriage strong should be higher on that list than a lot of people make it, including myself in my former marriage.

Post # 15
Member
2626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

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lovestruck2016 :  I don’t think this is true. Fiance and I have been together 8 and a half years next month and I feel closer to him, if anything.

I do think that it takes work as the years go by, and Fiance and I have changed a lot during the course of our relationship. However, we still make time for fun activities and enjoy each other as much as possible. 

If his ideas of romance aren’t the same as yours, maybe you could consider instigating the next date? It’s hard to say no to a picnic if you’re forced into it, but he may find he really enjoys it! 🙂

x

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