(Closed) The "after 30" unknown is so scary…

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
Member
3046 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

Leave him and find your happiness. Those of us over 30 do not have one foot in the grave, this isn’t the end. :p You’ll still have plenty of time to enjoy life and perhaps find a more fulfilling and healthier relationship. Personally, my 30’s are frickin awesome! Best years of my life by far. And technically I started over at 31 but thats not how I viewed it at the time. Just rolling with lifes twists and turns.

Post # 17
Member
4835 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

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soulful1 :  Oh honey, it’ll be ok.  Getting away from an adict will be the best thing you ever did.  Move on.  This man needs to heal on his own.

You are in your early 30s.  There is plenty of life left in front of you.  It is definetly possible that you will meet someone new and will have a family – you have a decade to do it!  Even if you don’t you are better off on your own than with an addict who can’t even admit he has a real problem.

Post # 18
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

It’s never too late to start over. I met the love of my life at the age of 32 (late last year). We got engaged this summer and will be getting married next July. I’ll be 34 at that time.

Please don’t give up! I spent most of my 20s single after leaving my abusive boyfriend. My time single was a wonderful learning experience. That’s when I learned about myself, and learned about what I love (and don’t) about my career, hobbies, friends and me. Not saying you need 10 years for that, but being single is awesome. And I’d rather be single than unhappy in a relationship.

There are better things in store for you, Bee. You just need to let go of what is holding you back to make it happen.

Post # 19
Member
9758 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

You’ll be fine.

I don’t say that to seem harsh or to take your fears lightly but realistically, you’re really probably going to be totally fine. Life does not end at 30.

Post # 20
Member
612 posts
Busy bee

The most worthwhile things are scary. Go for it.

Post # 21
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

You said yourself that you don’t feel he is being genuine. You need some space and time to think and you can’t do that when you’re still together and living together. Get your own place and live your life and if it’s meant to be then it will work out. Don’t put your life on hold for him.

Post # 22
Member
3848 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

 

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soulful1 :  It is never too late to find happiness.  I met my DH when I was 44.  This is the happiest time in my life.  

Please walk away from an addict.  You will never regret it.  

Post # 23
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Didn’t meet my Fiance until after 30. He is younger than I am and turning 30 tomorrow, we are getting married on Friday. 

Never settle!!

Post # 24
Member
2864 posts
Sugar bee

Got a divorce in my early 30s and now at 38, I am with someone who makes me extremely happy and is perfect for me. Age has naught to do with naught.

Post # 25
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
soulful1 :  I am 32 and honestly this has been the best time of my life.  I started dating my fiance less than six months before I turned 30.  We are getting married in March and will hopefully have a kid pretty soon after.  I have a daughter already and he has come in and picked up where her bio father left off which is even more amazing.  I know it sounds kind of cliche but I have been honestly happier and more comfortable in life and my own skin in my 30’s than I EVER was in my 20’s.  

Give yourself a real chance to be happy and leave the toxicity behind.  I left a lot of friends that couldn’t stop doing those kind of things behind because it wasn’t worth giving them a chance to try to drag me down with them.  Put YOU first.  You will be amazed at what happens in your life. 

Post # 26
Member
841 posts
Busy bee

Started over at 34. Do not ever settle for less than the best Bee. Life gets better. This is just a speed bump.

Post # 27
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2017

View original reply
soulful1 :  I started over from scratch at 30. My ex and I came to a joint decision to end the relationship we’d been in for 14 years (we were more friends than lovers) and I moved to Canada. Both decisions ended fantastically. 1. I’m now 33 and engaged to a man who I truly love and does his very best to make me happy each day and 2. I live in Canada full time with my fiancé (he’s Canadian). Take that second one how you want to ;). In my experience life’s just getting started at 30. You’re too young to settle.The best times are ahead. 

Post # 28
Member
6210 posts
Bee Keeper

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soulful1 :  Yep! I’m 34, we’ve been together for 3 years and just got married. I’m so glad I waited and started over dating. I gave myself time to be alone, very important. Then I tried dating again and meet my husband!

Please be strong. I’m sorry you are going through this, it cannot be easy. Trust me, starting over is not the end of the world. You will regret settling. What always helped me was to think if I’m in the same place five years from now , how will I feel? Regret? Or glad? 

Hugs! 

Post # 29
Member
10500 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

 

Honestly I don’t mean to sound  patronising or anything , but really , 30  is young in life terms . Met my h. at 31 (I think ,  can’t remember  now)  and we’ve  been together for years.   

Not to make less of your pain of course, but you really will be fine. You are  dreaming of freedom now , that is an excellent sign, next stop, actual freedom. 

Post # 30
Member
221 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I met my ex husband when I was 21. We got married when I was 24. I spent the time from when we met to when I ended the marriage being verbally and emotionally abused, supporting our family single-handedly, enduring repeated infidelity, and dealing with myriad and daily selfish, stupid decisions he made. 

But I was scared to start over. I was doubtful anyone would want me anyway (that’s how effective his abuse was). My marriage ended days before I turned 34.

I am now 36 and about to get engaged to the most amazing man I have ever known. 

There is life after a bad relationship.

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