(Closed) The age-old question…inviting kids to a wedding

posted 7 years ago in Reception
Post # 17
Member
281 posts
Helper bee

@sweetthng:  Yes you can. On every invite mention it’s an adult only wedding/reception. 

Post # 18
Member
357 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@Fizzybee:  Thanks 🙂  I think my SIL will change her mind when she realizes that I won’t be manipulated, but it’s still upsetting.

Post # 19
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Junip3r:  Yeah I understand. Like she shouldn’t put you in that position in the first place.

Post # 20
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

We are planning on having a kids free wedding not only because of cost but how other peoples children act. We want an elegant wedding… and children arent wired to be elegant lol lets face it they are suppose to run and play and laugh… We don’t have children and as of right do not want children ever… however i have 5 nieces and nephews and they all will be invited… 2 are older, and the younger 3 are in the wedding… my question is that if we clearly state adult reception… and they still show up with their kids would it be rude to tell them that the children cannot attend the reception?

Post # 21
Member
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

I didn’t even know that child-free weddings existed until I joined the bee! Not a problem for me, as only a few of our friends and family have small children…. I think there will only be 5 or so at our wedding, which is an easily manageable number. I do understand why space might be an issue for some people, though. As I see it, you have two choices:

1. Make the whole thing “adults only”.

2. Full disclosure. Send out “adults only” invitations, but then call your cousins and explain the situation. Say “I know I said adults only on the invitation… that was because space is very limited at our venue. However, seeing as we are close to [older child X], and they are a bit older, we would be OK extending our invitation to them as well. It’s difficult, because I know it’s not very fair to invite one child but not the other… but if we invited even the very youngest children, then we would need a new venue, because there are so many of them in our extended family! What do you think we should do?”

If they are reasonable people, I would go for the second option. You could even call them and ask them before the invitations go out.

PS But if someone said to me “We are planning on having a kids free wedding not only because of cost but how other peoples children act. We want an elegant wedding… and children arent wired to be elegant” then I would be quite angry, and I would RSVP “no” on principle. You don’t want kids solely because… they are kids? Chldren are family. If you don’t want them there, and it’s not an issue of cost, safety, or space (all of which are reasons which I would respect), then I would just assume that having the rest of the family there is not important to you either, and that my “no” response would not be a problem for you.

Post # 22
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

We aren’t inviting cousins either… I have 10 aunt and uncles… with spouses makes 20 and they all have at least 4 adult children… that all have at 3 the kids… u see the need for no children… 

To be honest… I don’t like children…and I don’t want them at my wedding… the lifestyle I live doesnt allow for children, im not ashamed of it… but I just dont think a wedding reception is the place for a child if ur having alcohol

Post # 23
Member
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

We aren’t inviting cousins either… I have 10 aunt and uncles… with spouses makes 20 and they all have at least 4 adult children… that all have at 3 the kids… u see the need for no children… 

To be honest… I don’t like children…and I don’t want them at my wedding… the lifestyle I live doesnt allow for children, im not ashamed of it… but I just dont think a wedding reception is the place for a child if ur having alcohol

Post # 24
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@sweetthng:  I feel if your going to invite people to your wedding you want to make sure your close with them or at least talk to on a regular basis which includes people with several children, if you want no children i would slip it on the invite somewhere about 17+ or whatever age you had in mind idk just throwin it out there 🙂 good luck

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