(Closed) The Agony of the Wait

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 4
Member
3601 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

There isn’t a companion site yet, but I know most of my already married compadres have baby fever. You are in good company!

Post # 5
Member
940 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

I wish there was, too.  I just posted something in Babies about where women can discuss infertility.  I’d love for there to be a venue where we can discuss all possible aspects of parenthood, babies, fertility, etc.  “Babies” as a section doesn’t even begin to cover it!

Post # 6
Member
7081 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2009

We’ve talked about baby bee, but it wasn’t the right time to start a new site…  I understand the difficulty of waiting though.  My impatience wasn’t about babies but just about getting out of residency and on with my coupledom life.

I tried to take one step at a time and immerse myself in the current moment while allowing myself to dream a little, but not obsess.

Post # 7
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Waiting is not fun, especially 2 years is long. I understand also that if it may be difficult for you to conceive, the wait to be a mom will be even longer.

While you have agreed to this plan, you don’t seem to be completely on board; maybe you and your husband should revisit the plan, to maybe start TTC in one year? If you do get pregnant before you two move, you still have to go through all the pregnency and will have time to move before having the baby. I don’t know.. ON the other hand, you having no job or insurance do not play in your favor.

But to answer your question, what to do to make the wait easier… enjoy the time you have with your husband now, and make a list of things you can do together that will be harder to do once you have children and work on doing everything on the list!

When we got married, we wanted to wait two years before having a family. Then we decided to TTC around our first anniversary mark, so that if we have problems conceiving, we don’t regret waiting too long. During that first year of waiting, we have traveled a lot and are renovating the house, and tasting lots of wine and enjoy restaurants… The wait is almost done now and I didn’t see the time fly.

Good luck..

Post # 8
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

@Mrs. DG:

if we had babybee, I almost think another name would be better, as it almost sounds like we’d be copying Baby to Bee (I think it’s an interesting site..)

http://www.babytobee.com/

 

Post # 9
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

While I think waiting for your family to be more settled is probably the best idea, given that you have PCOS you’re going to really need to be on top of your fertility. I think you should get yourself to a doctor – if you don’t have the $ or insurance, I would find a way. Consider it an investment in your family’s future; PCOS is awful and heartbreaking to struggle with and it may take you a while to get pregnant. If you get to a doctor sooner rather than later and begin having active conversations about what it WILL take for you to get pregnant, it may help alleviate some of your anxiety about wanting to do it now. Also, when you are ready to conceive, it will be that much easier because you’re prepared, physically/financially/emotionally. 

Post # 10
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

We have been married about 6 months and we don’t have a timeline.  Its really frustrating not to know when it will happen.  I know ideally now is not the right time but we do have stable income and insurance so it wouldn’t be a bad time either.  

Post # 11
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

Waiting can be so difficult… but it’s a way of doing the “right thing” before the baby is even born… even conceived! Once we have babies, we will change our lives to do what is right for them. Just look at this step as doing the right thing… You and your husband have decided on a timeline that is the right time for you to bring a baby into this world.

I promise it will go faster than you think… just make sure to enjoy the things you are doing that you might not be able to do as frequently once you become parents.

My husband and I were originally on different timelines so I felt like I was waiting forever. At first, I went through a period where all I could think about was babies. I researched, I thought about potential due dates… all sorts of crazy! But then I became more reasonable about things. I started thinking about the spontaneous nights out that we were having, the trips we were going on, the last minute get togethers with friends that lasted late into the night. I decided to focus on cherishing these moments, because I knew we wouldn’t be able to do these things once we have a baby.

We are now on the same timeline, and we are planning on starting to try in a few more months. Now, I find myself cherishing EVERY drink, every night out, every trip during these last few months. And I’m sure I’ll cherish every moment once we are pregnant (if we are so lucky)… but I’ve found that focusing on all of the positive things in the present really helps lessen the crazy baby rabies!!!! ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Post # 13
Member
3762 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@rabbit: I have totally brought this up to my husband plenty of times!  I have talked to him about wanting a timeline or even discussing/identifying the things we want to do before TTC.  He just says when it happens it happens or we will when we are ready.  Basically it gives me no idea if he would consider it within 6 months or 6 years. 

He did the same thing with getting engaged.  I never doubted that he wanted/would marry me it was just convincing him that there will never be the “perfect” time. 

His two best friends are going to be lifelong bachelors.  It was very hard for him to make the leap into marriage and I think the jump into a family will be worse. 

Also, his job has been unstable (but we can live on my salary) so I think he’s a big concerned about doing the “man” thing and providing for his family. 

Basically, I would be estatic if we agreed that in two years we could start TTC.  More than likely in 2 years he will be ready, but he’s not ready to say that right now. 

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