(Closed) The assumed guest

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Honestly, I would probably just ignore her, but if she brings it up again, just tell her you have a very strict budget and that you already have your numbers submitted to the venue and caterer, so you are sorry, but she won’t be able to come. Or you can blame it on your’s or your FI’s parents and tell her that they have the final say on the guest count and you aren’t allowed to invite anyone else.

Post # 4
Member
554 posts
Busy bee

I second ignoring and not engaging with her. Honestly if you are facebook friends I would even consider defriending or limiting her profile so she can’t pester you. I had someone like that once and I realized that we weren’t even friends and I didn’t want drama so I just disengaged and removed her.

Post # 5
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Yeah I’ll say ignore her. If/When you see her again don’t bring up your wedding. If she brings it up try to change the subject. After a while she will get the message that either you don’t like to talk about the wedding or she isn’t invited to the wedding.

Post # 6
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Well you said you don’t see or talk to her often so hopefully you just won’t run into her again before that and the whole situation can be avoided. But if you do and she asks again, I would just tell her that the guestlist has already been finalized and there just wasn’t space unfortunately and then try to remove yourself from the conversation. It’s rude of her to expect to attend your wedding and make you feel uncomfortable about it so I would just try to avoid her as much as possible until then.

Post # 7
Member
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Well, if you don’t see her or talk to her often, just ignore it and the problem will go away.  If she brings it up to you, just say that you already put together your guest list and while you would have loved to invite everyone you know, you and your fiance had to make cuts somewhere.

Post # 8
Member
4001 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’d ignore her.  You really don’t owe her an explanation, as to why you’re not hiring her or inviting her as a guest.  I think a lot of us have someone like this in our lives, I do too.  There is a girl that is friends with one of my BM’s.  I knew her in college but I didn’t like her, she was friends with a group of girls who hated me (because one of their boyfriends liked me).  We graduated years ago and I’ve only seen her 2x’s since, and I’ve been cordial.  That’s it, just cordial.  Yet the last time I saw her she asked me if she could bring a guest.  I was like, “Can you bring a guest to what?!?”.  She thought I was kidding so I just pretended someone called my name and walked away!  I am always trying to figure this stuff out.  Is it just that they’re completely unaware of how this goes?  That the bride/groom/family invites people they actually have a relationship with.  Or are they so desperate to be invited that they’d sacrifice a little bit of their pride by asking for an invite.  Ok, done rambling- just ignore her!  Like I am 🙂

Post # 9
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I also agree with ignoring her, removing/limiting her access to your Facebook page, etc.

Although, sometimes, I think people like that deserve to be told the truth, point-blank. “I am not hiring you, due to the lack of professionalism and organization I saw from you at OtherBride’s wedding. I am not inviting you, because I do not consider you a friend and find your constant need to be the center of attention off-putting.”

But then again, maybe I’m just a b****. Laughing

Post # 10
Member
3125 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I’d just ignore her, and NOT TALK at all about wedding stuff near her. She’ll either get the hint, or not. But it’s not your problemo !

Post # 11
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Just don’t send her an invitation.

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