(Closed) The automatic gratuity can of worms!!

posted 7 years ago in Food
Post # 4
Member
6256 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

You can’t get your money back, but I’d leave bad reviews for them EVERYWHERE. Other brides deserve to know before they get ripped off, too. With any luck, the proprietor will contact you and offer you a partial refund, but even if not, at least you may save some other bride from unwittingly contracting bad vendor.

Post # 5
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I feel like they are covering themselves because not everyone is like you. After shelling out hand over fist, many brides probably would decide to not tip, if only because it would be the only voluntary expense if they weren’t forced to pay it automatically.

However, that’s no excuse for poor service, and is kind of telling that perhaps this particular company doesn’t treat its employees like it should/doesn’t share the gratuity properly.

Post # 6
Member
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Do you know why the service was inferior?  If the catering company short staffed your event, it is not the servers fault.  If they were just slow/lazy, then it is their fault.  I’d write a letter to the caterer expressing your disappointment with both the food and service.

Post # 8
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

Yea I gotta tell ya… I fully intend to piss my venue off by not tipping on the night off. My venue doesn’t include gratuity automatically but they tell you every 10 seconds that its NOT INCLUDED (i.e. tip us!) and that I can do that with my final payment or the night of. Well.. a tip is by definition a CHOICE and thus I’ll be doing neither. I will send a tip by mail the week after the wedding (we’re not going on our honeymoon that first week). I’m sorry but I think tips are for service and I don’t think showing up = tip. Which means I want to evaluate the service we receive, which I’m not ready to do on the fly mid-evening during our wedding. If we get good service I’ll absolutely tip appropriately. If we get bad service I’ll still tip… but less. 

Post # 9
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@hzleys100: Please read my response FULLY. I state: “I’m sorry but I think tips are for service and I don’t think showing up = tip. Which means I want to evaluate the service we receive, which I’m not ready to do on the fly mid-evening during our wedding. If we get good service I’ll absolutely tip appropriately. If we get bad service I’ll still tip… but less.

That means I am going to tip either way. I understand how it works, I was a server for years. But I want to know how the service is before I decide the percent. I’m not comfortable just tipping 18% before knowing how the service is. If the servers are great I”ll probably send 20% or more. If the service sucks I”ll probably send 12-15% depending on how bad it is. I would never not tip at all. And regardless, calling someone an asshole on this board is never okay. 

Post # 10
Member
2793 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@hzleys100: Uncalled for.

@CorgiTales: I see no problem with what you’re doing. You’re not in the state of mind to decide the quality of service the night of your wedding. You need time to evaluate it after the fact, and get feedback from your guests. I don’t think you’re doing anybody a wrong by waiting a little bit, especially since you’re tipping one way or the other – it’s just the amount of the tip that’s going to differ based on service. I do the same thing at a restaurant – always leave a tip, but it’s less or more depending on the service we received. Why is that so hard to believe?

Post # 11
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

@CorgiTales:I like your idea of evaluating their service first. You really never know what you are going to get until the night of. We had wonderful service so that wasn’t an issue – but we also used the same venue as a few of our friends so we never expected anything less. I always evaluate my tip at a restaurant based on my service. I still give a tip, but I always give less if I had a rude server.

Post # 12
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@s_h_e_l_b_s: ya thats fine and all but would you not pay it that night? maybe a week lateR?

Post # 13
Member
711 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I think that every situation is different. We had seen our servers in action many times. We paid them the next day for everything when we went back to the venue (it was a bit different then your standard). I just don’t think it is fair to tip the full amount if service is really terrible – and in some rare cases it does happen. I wouldnt expect to be paid for my job if I purposely did not do it to the best of my ability. Also I think everyone has different opinions and ideas about what is the most appropriate form of action in different situations and I dont necessarily think that the way I would handle something is the right way. Plus, she is paying a tip, just not necessarily on the night of.

Post # 14
Member
558 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Definitely write a letter to the venue letting them know of your experience!  That way, your opinion might make a difference in their service to future clients.  Leaving only bad reviews online might merely be seen as sour grapes (it’s a good idea to still write online reviews to warn others away, but I doubt it would inspire the venue to make any changes/have remorse)

Post # 15
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

When i worked in catering I made minimum wage. caterers are not SERVERS and they often make more than the standard $2+ some bucks an hour like waitresses do. At many restaurants, you don’t even get your tip that night if it’s pooled together and then redestributed.

It’s not like she’s not tipping. And i doubt Corgi cares what the waitstaff thinks of her to the point she’s concerned they will ‘hate’ her. I bet lots of brides forget to tip that night of their wedding and then come back and tip because there’s just too much going on.

Post # 16
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@hzleys100: Once again, it is inappropriate for you to call me an asshole on the boards. I let it slide before but please note the policy on snarkiness and personal attacks. It is fine to disagree with me, but do it in a respectful way. In response to your statement, I live in Ohio and here servers are NOT taxed automatically on 15% of the food bill. I was a server for many years through high school and college, so I know the way the system works. You report your actual tips and are taxed on that. So I would never be costing them money. Second, caterers generally do make more than 2-whatever an hour. Third, it is not unreasonable to tip based on service. Again, this is not a tip vs. no tip issue. This is a recognition that tip should be based on service. I don’t think that a server deserves a 20+% tip just for showing up. If they do their job competently and are pleasant, they’ll get a great tip so what is the issue? If they’re rude and/or not doing their jobs they’ll get a not-as-good tip. It is incentive to be good at their jobs. Lastly, I don’t really care what they think of me. My self-image is not affected by the opinions of strangers, be they servers or random people on the internet. 

 

@NYE Gal: I apologize that this got off track. I was just trying to mention the way I was going to try to handle this issue because I do think that what you experienced is a serious problem with tipping before you know how the service is. I guess there probably isn’t much you can do now but I hope that some people will learn from what you did and do what I am doing which will work out in a way that is fair to everyone I believe. 

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