- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
Bees, I have a “proposal”.
I’ve been planning my wedding for almost a year now, and I have to say, engagement has been a journey, and not always a great one. I’ve learned a lot about the stresses and expectations as a bride, and I have to say, I’ve got an issue with the “B” word.
I know, I know. We have all seen the show, or dealt with someone, or maybe, MAYBE been one. But if you’re like me (and I don’t think I’m in the minority), you have tried to avoid being one. I know that I personally ended up planning a wedding that had me digging my heels into the ground due to budget, guest list expectations (constrained by budget), etc. And the funny thing is that no matter what, if anything comes up, a decision has to be made, an “I know you said you weren’t thinking about it but you MUST be thinking about it secretly” question came up, it was directed at me. NOT the groom, no matter what say or pull he had. Me.
And I’ve noticed that every frustration ends up directed at the bride. From reading forums, articles, and my own experiences, the bride really is the one dealing with the stress, and it isn’t just centerpieces, dresses, bows and sparkles.
I’m saddened by the fact that I’ve seen other brides so quick to throw the B word around. Isn’t it tough enough that we deal with it, or the fear of it, from others that are from the outside looking in, without hearing it from people that have recently been there or are going through the same things? Recently a certain wedding Facebook page posted something about “remember not to let someone else get in the way of your day.” I know it can be taken the “wrong” way, but I thought of it (and it was clarified later) as “it’s impossible to please everybody, so don’t let it ruin your happy occasion”, but the overwhelming majority (and I mean… an onslaught of posters who were obviously following the wedding page for a reason) were saying “that’s right stamp your little feet and cry until you get your way” or “yeah ok be a b**ch because no one else’s feelings matter.” Why are so many soon-to-be brides so quick to bash eachother (even if it’s a hypothetical suggestion)??
As a bride-to-be, a lot of planning has gone toward managing feelings and balancing budgets, and I have to say, EVERYONE seems to take everything personally, and EVERYONE needs an explanation to see it any other way besides the one that offends them. Even people that were once thought of as rational seem to develop a major sensitivity toward anything wedding-related, and I DO sometimes think… isn’t this supposed to be about US?
So, (phew) here is my proposal… maybe brides-to-be and recent brides need to seriously take a step back, and not throw out the B word unecessarily. Just because someone is a “bride” doesn’t mean they are irrational. Sometimes bridesmaids/parents/friends ARE badly behaved, and sometimes that vendor/parent/groomsmen IS in the wrong, and it isn’t just a case of “no one will care about your wedding as much as you get over it already.”
Just an idea. 🙂