(Closed) The bachelor party… need support.

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 62
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Is it possible to flag your own post?  I realized that although I strongly disagree with the terminology used to describe a job/person, I also shouldn’t have quoted it in my post.  Hopefully once the mods remove the one post, they will also remove my previous post as well. My apologies.

Post # 63
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

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@Miss Smurf: just edit it out

Post # 64
Member
469 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

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@Miss Smurf: You can edit your post and remove everything you wrote!

Post # 65
Member
533 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Duh!!!  Thanks Ladies!

Post # 66
Member
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

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@spookyjen: when someone announces that they strip for a living – i think that is the only “attention craving” going on here.

it doesn’t take much to figure out that typically, uneducated women choose this as a “career path.” if you’d like, i could research, crunch some numbers and put it all into a statistical format that could be truly appreciated and understood by all.

why MY comment should get me “banned” is completely ridiculous.

allow me to define forum: 1. A meeting or medium where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged.

sorry, i don’t believe that what i said was half as bad as some things i read on this website.

Post # 67
Member
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

first of all, i don’t “hate” anyone. just because i disagree with something, does not constitute my “hatred” of said person….or thing. do i find it distasteful and offensive? yes, absolutely.

it is persons such as yourself, assilem, that like to fan the flames, so to speak, and keep arguments running. for what? craving the last word? tattletailing on someone to moderators because you disagree with their opinion?

it is not your job to police anyone here. the only rights you have are to give your opinion(s)/advice. if you post something on a public forum and ask for feedback, you become a target of whatever “judgements” people would care to make. do you honestly think that someone posting that they are a stripper, on an ALL WOMEN’S website, where someone has fears about strippers during their fiance’s bachelor party would NOT warrant any negative responses?

let’s think about that, shall we? and then we can all come to our own conclusions about WHO wants attention here.

 

Post # 68
Member
2394 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

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@ijustrockout:  it is persons such as yourself, assilem, that like to fan the flames, so to speak, and keep arguments running.

Have you heard the one about people in glass houses?

Post # 69
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@assilem:  Just an FYI, your post could itself be seen as a personal attack.  Especially since this board is already flag-happy.

For what it’s worth, I trust my Fiance because he’s been to strip clubs and spent the entire time texting me about how bored he was and telling me about the pole moves they were doing (I was taking cardio pole classes at the time!).  He wants to play paintball for his Bachelor Party, but if he did want to go to a strip club I trust him enough to be okay with it as long as we laid out some ground rules. 

I think girls who are not okay with their men going should be open and honest about their reasons why – there are plenty of alternatives.  He should realy know your feelings on the matter if you’re marrying him.  And as an aside… I also think it’s condescending to our men that society ‘regulates’ the only way they can have fun with their boys is by going to a strip club!  Heck, he might appreciate being off the hook and getting to do something he actually enjoys.

Post # 70
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

“…do you honestly think that someone posting that they are a stripper, on an ALL WOMEN’S website, where someone has fears about strippers during their fiance’s bachelor party would NOT warrant any negative responses?”

Are strippers not women as well?  I feel like if this was a discussion about people being uncomfortable around doctors, and a woman who is a doctor replied, everyone would welcome her input.  DisneyWedding is clearly comfortable with her profession and is trying to share her viewpoint so that other women can make a more intelligent and balanced decision regarding their own take on stripclubs.  If your own opinion didn’t change because of her experiences, that’s fine.  But I think there are definitely women out there who appreciated the insight – I know I did.

Post # 71
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would definitely tell your fiance no strippers at the bachelor party.  I think that’s no way to start a marriage.  If he needs to see a naked woman, he can see me all he wants.  Mine already knows that he’ll seriously be up sh*t’s creek if I even catch wind that he went anywhere near a strip club for his bachelor party.  And his friends know that they’ll be floating in that same life raft with him.  I think that it’s a respect issue.  If you say you’re not comfortable with strippers, then so be it…it shouldn’t be a question in his mind at that point.  It’s not like you’re asking for the world, you’re asking him to not look at other naked women…which, I think shouldn’t be a problem since he’s getting MARRIED.  Ugh.  Ok, there’s my vent.  And trust me, I’ve had this same conversation with my fiance.  🙂

Post # 72
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

im another one who doesnt really like the idea of the strip club. i trust my fiance but not his single friends. after a few drinks im sure my fiance will not say no to whatever they want to do. they also see a bach party as “the last day of his life” type of thing..insted of celebrating him getting married. knowing that he could have done things i dont agree with at the strip club would make me not want to get  into my dress on our wedding day.

Post # 73
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I think some of the gals that say change it a bit to where you’ll feel comfortable/he’ll be out having some DECENT fun is great advice. 

I didn’t have this come up when it was time for all these traditions because long ago when we were dating he said his BF already had a plan that didn’t include disrespecting the future wife. My Husband would agree with some Bee’s theres absolutely no place for these activities within a monogamous relationship like being engaged and the like. Strip clubs are for singles. So it was never an issue. 

He didn’t know until 2 weeks prior when his BF/Groomsman was scheduling the event that they were going camping for his ‘party’! I thought it was pretty funny hearing about the whole process and what happened afterward. They sure loved the firing range and the hikes! 

Perhaps the wilderness would spark some man love between him and his friends? Someone said bowling. That’d be fun. Or maybe sailing if they’re closer to water?

Post # 74
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I hope it turned out well for you in the end?! 

 

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@twobecomeone:

Loved the ‘rant’ … Totally agree.

It only brings women down a few notches from those days where our grands/great grandmother’s etc were gaining respect for women! 

Post # 75
Member
915 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

That is a tough situation.  I would recommend activities that take place in public places, like sports, restaurants, and bars, to prevent anyone from ordering a private stripper.  He shouldn’t NEED to be around other naked women in order to have a good time with his friends.  I’m not anti-stripper, but I think going to a strip club when you’re a relationship is disrespectful and embarassing for your SO.

edit: oops, I just realized this post is way too late.  I hope everything worked out!

Post # 76
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Didn’t really read everyone’s responses… I’m just grateful that the man I’m marrying has higher standards than strip clubs or a bachelor party (of that type.)  

Neither of us drink and we both believe in video porn (lol!) So neither one of us are prudish… But video porn is something watched at home in private.. for uhm… personal reasons.

If he is willing to call it off, accept it and thank him.  Then drop it.  But let him know that your standards are higher than that and assumed his were too… and are grateful that he lived up to your high opinion of him.

My fiance will likely have some kind of get-together here at the house involving watching sports.  Or other non-drinking, non-womanizing activity… it’s just not his style.  And I wouldn’t be with him if it were.  

I was attracted to him initially because I met him in a group of mutual friends and he didn’t hit on women… in fact he didn’t hit on me either… But he did find out that he lived a mile away and showed up at my door one day because he “hadn’t seen me in a while and just wanted to check that I was ok…”  

Ok… if I hadn’t already confessed to a mutual friend that I was interested in him and had a serious crush, that might be considered a little creepy-stalkery… but the point is he is respectful of women.  He doesn’t have to have a limit of “no lap dances”… 

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