The bachelorette party dilemma: invite evil F"S"IL or not.

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 2
Member
8833 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

JellyBean44 :  Looks like these are your options:

  1. She’s a brat but at least you got to enjoy your party.
  2. She’s a brat and you didn’t even get to enjoy your party.

I would choose A. If she’s going to cause trouble either way, why not enjoy the party without her?

Post # 3
Member
3560 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

JellyBean44 :  there’s no reason to invite her. Hell, I have a good relationship with my SIL and she wasn’t invited to me bachelorette (and there’s no age gap or any excuse of the like. We’re simply not friends). Don’t invite her, and if she throws a fit and asks why, tell her quite simply that because of x, y, and z, you were under the impression she didn’t even like you, let alone that you were friends. 

Post # 4
Member
3291 posts
Sugar bee

Don’t invite her. I invited my b**ch SIL to my hens party and yep, you guessed it, she was a b**ch the whole night. Enjoy your party, don’t invite her!

Post # 5
Member
6167 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I wouldn’t invite her and wouldn’t think another moment about it. She sounds like the type to talk behind your back rather than say anything directly to you so you won’t even have to worry about her trying to confront you. If she does actually ask why you didn’t invite her I would tell her the truth in a matter of fact way. She tells lies about you and is clearly not your friend. This is an event for friends, not people who have a problem with the honoree.

I would also plan to have security or some good friends at the wedding who are prepared to escort her out just in case she’s the type to act a fool in public and try to ruin your wedding.

Post # 6
Member
1000 posts
Bumble bee

I wouldn’t invite her. If she raises a stink, everyone will be on your sides anyways if what you wrote is true. She is going to raise a stink either way, so you might as well just enjoy your party. If she confronts you, politely point out that a bachelorette party is for people who are close and supportive of you, not for any family member who wants to go.

Post # 7
Member
74 posts
Worker bee

JellyBean44 :  You are such a sweetheart, clearly. If I were in your shoes and this woman went around saying this much awful stuff about me without even knowing me (!!!) then not only would she NOT be invited, but I would be totally okay with her knowing about the party and I would in fact HOPE that she asks me why she wasn’t invited. Hello, she has been nothing but awful. It’s YOUR night and anyone who is toxic and doesn’t care about you, should NOT be invited.

 

Post # 8
Member
1369 posts
Bumble bee

If she hates you so much, why would she want to go to a party for you and celebrate you and bring you a gift or buy you drinks, etc? Why do you even care about how she feels? This isn’t a dilemma at all. Obviously you shouldn’t invite her. Problem solved. 

Post # 9
Member
1825 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Most of those things she did are relationship ending in my book.  If she asks you why she was not invited, feel free to bring up any or all of the things you mentioned.  If your in-laws ask why she was not invited, feel free to bring up the things you mentioned.  I can’t decide if she is evil, as you say, or mentally ill.  If it is the latter, perhaps you should encourage her family to seek help for her… If you even want to consider a relationship with her ever, I think she owes you a good explanation for telling people you are a felon/lesbian/etc.  I personally would be very curious and want to ask why.  So weird.

Post # 10
Member
220 posts
Helper bee

Do not invite her!

You have the support of your friends and family who are invited so it’s not like you are going to get any backlash from them for not inviting her. 

Yes, she might be a bit of a bitch about it, but if she’s going to be a bitch whilst there anyway, what’s the point? Might as well at least get to enjoy your party bitch-free. 

Post # 11
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Don’t invite her bee. You deserve a drama free bachelorette and if she brings it up, tell her just that. Stand your ground!

Post # 12
Member
3832 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Sounds like a clear no. The only reason to invite someone you don’t like to something like this is if there is a need to maintain a civil relationship. It doesn’t sound like that is the case here, you want nothing to do with her and your fiance is on board with cutting her out so you have nothing to lose. 

Post # 13
Member
27 posts
Newbee

Nope. you shouldn’t invite her and don’t feel bad about it!

Post # 14
Member
232 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Agree with PPs, either way she is going to cause trouble so don’t invite her to your shower and enjoy yourself.

On another note: The next time she starts a rumour with the potential to damage your reputation why don’t you send her a cease and desist? It’s troubelling that she has gotten away with so much.

Post # 15
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

I literally cannot think of a single reason why she should be invited.

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