(Closed) The best laid plans: What were your successes and failures vs. the plan?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 16
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

aggiemae:  I had a completely medicated birth because I’m a wimp with a low pain tollerence, but if I had a baby with no pain meds, I’d probably print up a bunch of t-shirts announcing it and wear them every frickin day of my life. iarebridezilla:  Feel free to shout it from the rooftops!

Post # 18
Member
2350 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

my best laid plans r to never have children

Post # 19
Member
2814 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I approched motherhood as something I’d be flexible about, but arm myself with as much information as possible.

That being said, there were a few things, especially in regards to pregnancy that I was very headstrong about…and they turned into fails.

Fails:

No interventions, meds, unecessary testing, blah blah blah. I was going to do everything 100% naturally- My body was made for it. The reality: I developed complications with my kidneys which required surgeries, anesthetics, constant monitoring, and induction. I wanted to go pain-med free in labour. Almost made it (got to 10cm) but ended up with an epidural, gas, intervenous pain meds. I will try again this pregnancy.. lol

TV as a distraction: I told myself I would never plunk Dear Daughter infront of the TV so I could get things done. I’d allllways involve her in what i was doing, and it would be fun!<br />The reality: Some days when I come home from work, and just want to get supper done as quickly as possible, with the littlest amount of mess possible, Dora is on TV and Dear Daughter is in there, watching it contently.

Strictly limiting sugar: MY kid was going to be a health eater. MY kid would never have lots of sugarry candy at her age..<br />The Reality: Especially with her in daycare, this became unavoidable. While I do really try to limit a lot of sweets, she still probably eats more than she needs to. There’s a lot of good food that I WISH she would eat but she flat out refuses.

Being a Stay-At-Home Mom: I was not letting “somone else raise my child”<br />The reality: As much as I begged my husband that we could afford me to stay home, and as hard as I tried to convince my bosses to lower me to part-time, it just didn’t work. I had the first year with my Dear Daughter and appreciated it SO much. In the end though, this ended up being a success. Dear Daughter benefits greatly from daycare, and as much as I don’t want to admit it, I like coming to work and not being “Mom” for a portion of the day.. lol

Successes:

Breastfeeding: Despite having a small IUGR baby, being induced, having surgery after birth, and not being able to eat for 24 hours after birth, I produced enough milk to feel triplets. Dear Daughter was EBF and I continued to breastfeed until she was 15 months old.

Cloth Diapering: this was another success for us. I cloth diapered until she started solids, then I started using them less. A lot of people thought I would get grossed out, but it was just as easy as using disposibles. I am looking forward to cloth diapering the new baby in a few months!

Post-baby body: I am hoping this rings true after baby #2, but I LOVE my post-baby body. It didn’t “ruin” me in the slightest!

Extended Rear Facing: I had a lot of friends question why my Dear Daughter was “still facing backwards.” Even Darling Husband pushed a bit on turning her forward earlier, but I stood my ground, and she is now just being forward faced in her car seat at two and a half.

 

Post # 20
Member
1856 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

It’s been a long while since my kiddo was a baby so I have to think a bit about what things I planned before she came along.

I guess successes from back when she was small – natural labor, extended breastfeeding, almost 100% home-made baby food.

These days, at age 10, my success is having, thus far, raised an intelligent, funny, thoughtful little person. I didn’t make many plans other than that so I feel pretty pleased.

The only failure I can think of off-hand is not keeping up with her baby book, etc. I do wish I’d been better about that. I would have also preferred to have a co-parenting relationship with her biological father, but that’s rather his failure and not mine.

Post # 22
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

urchin:  iarebridezilla:  You two are some of my favorite moms on the board! Rolling with the punches in a style similar to mine. 

My best laid plan:

I was sure my daughter would always be dressed and presentable. Tiny baby outfits to match mine? Sign us up! Bloomers to match her bow? You bet your britches. 

Reality:

If she has on clothes and shoes, we are good! I can’t punt how many times she has faced the day in sock monkey slippers. She is clean, fed, and loved…mission accomplished. Lol!

Post # 23
Member
2814 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

MammaPants:  Dawww thanks πŸ™‚ I find parenting much less stressful that way!

..and ditto on the clothes. I LOVED the cute coordinated outfits..but quickly came to realize how impractical they are.

Dear Daughter went to daycare yesterday with her pants on backwards and a mis-matched shirt because she is now DEMANDING that she gets to choose her own clothes and dress herself.

I pick my battles. lol

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 7 months ago by  urchin.
Post # 25
Member
5474 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Yep, BabyDane is usually dressed ok but me… yeah I realized at lunch yesterday that my underwear were on inside out.  Some days are a win, some not :/

Post # 26
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

kittyface:  I love the term “thoughtful” when describing your Dear Daughter. I’ve been trying to think of a term that encompasses the kind of person I want my DS to grow up to be, and this word describes it perfectly, and covers so many bases. I want him to question everything and show compassion for others. I want him to be thoughtful!! Thank you!

Post # 27
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

iarebridezilla:  And that kid most probably grew up to bindge eat XL DQ Blizzards in her closet until your friends discover 100+ empty DQ cups stacked up behind your clothes (my former college roommate). Healthy eating means learning how to eat everything in moderation, not cutting out the good stuff all together πŸ™‚

Post # 28
Member
7430 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Successes:

Vaginal delivery: I really wanted to be able to deliver vaginally, despite being induced and wanting an epidural.

Breastfeeding: This is sort of a success/fail because I really wanted to be able to exclusively breastfeed for at least a year. My milk came in really late, and Dear Daughter had lost too much weight. Luckily, my milk finally came in, and I was able to exclusively breastfeed for about three months until I had to go back to work. I am still breastfeeding, but we do supplement with formula, and we also just started solids.

Babywearing: Both Darling Husband and I wear her in our Ergo. We do use our stroller sometimes, but wearing her saved our lives in the earlier months.

Failures:

Bedsharing: I really didn’t want to bedshare. I had fully intended on baby sleeping in the PNP next to my side of the bed. Well, Dear Daughter absolutely refused to sleep by herself from day one. We ended up bedsharing in order to survive! I still can’t get her to sleep in her crib at six months, and she pretty much refuses to be sleep trained. The one good thing about it was that it helped increase my milk supply. I have to admit, she looks pretty cute when she’s sleeping next to me too.

Swing: We got our expensive, fancy swing hoping that Dear Daughter would love it. NOPE. She absolutely hates it.

No technology: I had intended on waiting until Dear Daughter was much older to use technology of any kind. Well, I realized that her face timing with her dad while he works is awesome, and face timing with her grandparents who live far away is great. It’s also nice when she screaming crying, and I can turn on a video of my mom reading her a Sophie book. It stops her instantly! She also loves the Baby Einstein puppets on YouTube.

Body: I had hoped that I would lose all of the baby weight from breastfeeding, but I’m still up at least 10 pounds since having the baby. I feel like I don’t recognize my body sometimes. I’m hoping that the last 10 pounds will come up after a stop breastfeeding, but I’m not positive that it will. I also have a lot of stretch marks that weren’t there before. Maybe someday I can get my body back!

 

Overall, I feel like I have a lot more successes than failures. At the end of the day, I know I’m a great mom and my baby loves me. That’s all that really matters.

Post # 29
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

FAILURES:

*I said I would never share a bed… First time she was sick.. She was in bed with us! 98% of the time she’s in her own crib, but never say never future Mommas!! hahaha

*I was going to make my own baby food! No premade garbage for my baby… Hahahaha she hates my food!! I still make her purees but I mix premade prunes into it so she’ll eat it. Hahaha We have also started doing baby led weaning, she loves feeding herself!

*Breastfeeding- So… i had a surgery on my left breast.. It’s a different shape.. So breastfeeding on the left was annoying and hot and sweaty for both of us in the beginning!! Hahahaha So… I always fed her from the right…So, now I’m a lop sided mess! Hahahaha BUT apparently you can successfullly breast feed with only one boob! Hahaha have been for 7months πŸ˜€ and still going strong!

 

SUCCESSES:

*Vaginal delivery.

*Breastfeeding- even though I broke my left boob :/

* Loving the fuck out of that little girl!! I was afraid of post partum.. But luckily I didn’t have that battle.

 

Post # 30
Member
4690 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Mewithoutyou:  I’m a lil scared to ask… but how did your boob break??

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