(Closed) The best laid plans: What were your successes and failures vs. the plan?

posted 6 years ago in Parenting
Post # 31
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

lealorali:  LOL read my fails! If you use mostly your right side, the left side suffers! Or “breaks”! Hahah

Post # 32
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Mewithoutyou:  happy to hear one sided feeding works.  My dd does not like the right side, so I primarily feed off the left.  Sometimes she is still hungry and screams when I re offer the left breast,  so I sometimes have to supplement with pumped milk. I’m hoping the milk ramps up soon. 


It’s only been 6.5 weeks, so I’m sure this list will grow. 




– lose baby weight.  I actually only gained ~12lbs (but was overweight to begin with). Within a week I had not only lost all the pregnancy weight, but also 12 lbs off my pre pregnancy weight.  I assume being diagnosed with gestational diabetes helped. 

– breastfeed. It’s been a bumpy journey, but aside from the hospital, she’s only had breast milk. 

– sleep.  I’m now, more often than not, feeding around 10pm, 2am and 6am.  Not too shabby if I do say. 


– attempt a med free birth.  Labour barely started when I needed to have an emergency c section which resulted in me being put under and intubated. I think I would have ended up wanting an epidural, which wouldn’t have worked, so all’s well that ends well? 

– pacifier – I wanted to avoid using one at all.  But she loves to suck and will sometimes get angry because milk comes out of my boob and she doesn’t want it. So she uses one.  Hopefully it won’t be difficult to wean her. 

Post # 33
4690 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

Mewithoutyou:  omg that sounds horrible!

Post # 34
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Our Castle

Hi mummas,

As a yet to be mumma can i ask some questions? dont really have a mum to ask and feel wierd ask Future Mother-In-Law..

Does boob size make a difference to breastfeeding (does it make more milk?)

How did you loose your baby weight?.

did anyone have to sleep seperate from hubby while baby was small? my Fiance is a light sleeper..


Post # 35
1440 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Mistress_K:  I’ve heard boob size makes zero difference.  I’m a 38g and my friend was a 32a and for both of us our challenge was not producing enough but getting a good latch.  As for sleeping, I’ve been in the spare bedroom since second trimester. I’m a light sleeper and dh and I decided while I was pregnant that it didn’t make sense for us to both be miserable ando tired.  Now that she is here, he is back to work, and needs good sleep. 

Post # 37
2814 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Mistress_K:  Boob size should not make ANY difference when breastfeeding. I was a 32B and they didn’t grow at all during pregnancy. 24 hours after birth, I had enough milk to feed 3 babies! I had 0 problem producing milk! Usually it isn’t the size of the breasts that determine milk producing ability..it’s more hormonal/stress related, I believe.

As for losing the baby weight, breastfeeding was a big reason why I had no problem. It doesn’t have that result for everyone, but for me, it brought me down below my pre-preg weight. That coupled with cooking healthier because I was at home, and running around with a baby all the time, it was pretty easy to lose the weight. I am really hoping that happens this time too!

For sleeping, I still slept in the same bed as Darling Husband but got up with baby and went out to our livingroom for nighttime feedings and diaper changes.

Post # 38
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

awakemysoul: (oops, tagged the wrong person…) I had/have very small boobs and had an oversupply (which presented its own challenges). I think it’s super individualized.

DS is almost 18 months-old (how did that happen??) so here’s my list:


Breastfeeding. We are still nursing once a day at this point, and while I thought DS was starting to slow down a month ago, he still loves the morning cuddle (and I love lying down for another 20  minutes).

No TV: Little guy watches no more than 5 minutes of TV a day (and usually it’s only every 4-5 days). We use it to clip his finger nails, occasionally to get him to eat (see healthy eating failure…), and when he needed a nebulizer and was scared of it. Even though I mostly SAH, I’ve been able to (mostly) not use it. I will admit that he may have watched 15 minutes a month ago while I cooked dinner on a particularly rough day, though. If I really need it, he has one app on my phone he will play with when we’re out and about, but again, this is once every couple of weeks.

Cloth diapering: We didn’t actually intend to, and didn’t when DS was little, but I got more excited about it around 3 months, and now we use cloth diapers most of the time. Not always, but I think we strike a good balance.

Sign language: It’s a good thing we decided to start signing, because DS still has no interest in talking (he can, he just doesn’t). DS uses close to 40 signs regularly, and even uses two-word signing phrases. 

Promoting independent play: From when DS was really young, we promoted his ability to entertain himself, and now he’ll do it for an hour or more (obviously I’m still nearby checking on him and will interact, and he’ll ask for help if he needs it, but he’s really independent. 


Healthy eating: I mean, he still does pretty well and gets a good balance, but when DS was 7-10 months old, I couldn’t get him to gain weight for anything. We had to significantly decrease the amount of BFing we did and up the solids. My doctor said my philosophy needed to be “give him anything he’ll eat and put butter on it.” Now that he’s a pretty good eater, we’re back to (mostly) better food, but he had sugar cookies yesterday, and he loves ice cream, so…

No epidural: Yeah, after 13 hours of bring-me-to-my-knees pain and no progress, I got an epidural. I felt about 5 minutes of guilt, and then it was awesome. No regrets.

No cry-it-out: I was really opposed, but when little guy was waking every 45 minutes and both of us were miserable, and I’d read everything I could get my hands on and nothing was helping…we cried it out. And I’m glad we did, although I’m sorry we had to. We also bed-shared, which I had no intention of doing.

Post # 39
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011


Breastfeeding – I hated it. We had so many issues: latching, milk protein/soy intolerance, milk came in super late. We only lasted about 6 weeks.

Co-Sleeping – I was really hoping to keep Dear Daughter in our room with us. This lasted for a few days, and no one in our house was sleeping well. As soon as we moved her to her crib, she slept longer periods and we slept great, too!

Baby Food – I was hoping to make 100% of her food. I make most of it, and we also do some BLW, but I also keep store bought purees on hand for when it’s more convenient.

Natural, Med Free Birth – I had complications at the end of my pregnancy that resulted in a scheduled cesarean. I can say that I don’t regret this at all!


Cloth Diapering – At 8 months old my daughter is cloth diapered 99% of the time. I love them!

Not bedsharing – I never gave into temptation and brought her into bed with us. I think this and the good bedtime routine are the reasons we have such an awesome sleeper.

Clothing – The first thing I do when I get baby girl up out of her crib is take her out of her pj’s and dress her. She has adorable outfits coordinated to diapers and bows pretty much daily. I also sew a lot of her clothes/diapers, so the fact that her clothing required a lot of effort on my part is good motivation 🙂

Weight Loss – I lost the baby weight really quickly. Luckily, I didn’t gain too much to start with!

Babywearing – Baby girl spends a lot of time in the Ergo. We use the stroller, too, but the carrier is easier a lot of the time. I just make myself a pretty woven wrap, so we’ll see how that works out 🙂

Reading – We read her at least one book a day, often more. I’m hoping to keep this up throughout her childhood.

Photography/Journaling – I have done a pretty good job of recording her firsts and keeping up with her book. This is surprising since I did horrible with my pregnancy journal and still need to finish it!

Post # 40
2480 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I can look back over a loooooooong time of being a parent but here’s my main plan/offplan recollections:

1. I was definitely having a natural birth. No drugs or stitches for me. No Sireee! I managed this second time around but for sure, my first labour might have been undramatic but it didn’t go to plan. Not least because I allowed myself to be persuaded into things I should have resisted. By the time I had my second son I had the confidence to say “no” politely.

2. Pacifiers. No child of mine was having one! This plan worked just fine for my first son but not for my second. We’d have been driven demented had I not given in. Admittedly, the pacifier phase only lasted 8 months but for all that, it was a godsend.

3. I was determined that my boys would not play with gender-specific toys. This worked in theory but in practice I hadn’t realised that there were limits to my control.

4. They would not eat chocolate or candy before the age of 5. I managed to keep this resolution until the older one was 2. Then it was downhill all the way although admittedly I did restrict their intake quite strictly. However, having watched certain “helicopter” parents amongst my social circle, I soon realised that some rules were best being flexible.

5. I did not use corporal punishment. I stood by that. And no, I did not bring up bratty, spoiled children just because I didn’t smack them. Instead, there were other, more effective sanctions that didn’t teach them that it was acceptable for grown up people to hit little people.

Overall, what I found was that having an open-minded and flexible approach seemed to work best. In other words, it is a good idea to have definite plans but it is an equally good idea to be prepared to revisit those plans when reality kicks in. 

How did my children turn out? Well even though I say it myself, surprisingly well. They are now married and engaged with my younger son having two little girls of his own. They’re polite, well mannered, domesticated (no boy of mine was growing up to be a useless man who expected a woman to wait on him) and hard-working. So despite having me as a parent I must have done something right. 

Post # 41
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

iarebridezilla:  i really like your style. i hope to say that very same thing about natural childbirth. my mom is the only one who keeps telling me that i will be begging for an epidural.

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