- 10 years ago
- Wedding: August 2010
I have a big moment coming up in a few weeks and I need your help! Over the past several months, my mom has said a few times that she and my stepdad would like to "take care of" our wedding. So generous of her right? I really love and appreciate her and my SD and everything they do for me.
But here is the thing… I think there might be a pretty significant gap between what I have in mind for a total budget and what I think they have in mind for a total budget. Like take what they have in mind and then double it, and that’s what I’m thinking. But I don’t feel like what I have in mind is super extravagant or anything–I have done extensive research on prices in our area, and while the budget I have in mind includes chivari chairs and maybe one other splurge like that, it’s overall pretty reasonable. And, we’ll have around 300 guests. It just adds up, you all know how it is.
I want to be totally open with them about it so that we’re all on the same page, so I am inclined to just show them my budget spreadsheet (aside from the numbers, it’s pretty sweet–it’s like this organizational and mathematical masterpiece, it’s beautiful). However, if the numbers are waaaay more than they had in mind, then I don’t want to put them on the spot and make them feel like they have to put up that much money because they said they’d "cover it." At the same time, I want to make sure they know just how much this is going to cost, and how much extra it will be to invite all of my mom’s bazillion cousins (btw, not inviting them is not an option).
There is a little more background, too… when my sis got married a couple of years ago, my parents game them a check to help out with the wedding. Her circumstances were a little different than mine (for starters, they had other parents contributing, whereas we just have mine), but I think my parents thought the check was a pretty significant contribution. In reality, it didn’t even cover 25% of the actual costs of the wedding, but my parents never realized that because my sister didn’t ever tell them how much it cost. My sis and Brother-In-Law ended up taking out a second mortgage on their house to cover a big part of it.
The point is–I think my parents are a little out of touch with reality when it comes to the cost of a wedding. I think we’re on the same page about how we want it to turn out, they just don’t know how much it is for all that, you know?
So my question–did you have to talk to your parents about your budget? Given aaalll this background, can you offer me some advice?