- Mrs Sarah McK
- 9 years ago
- Wedding: October 2010
@CaitMarie: ITA word for word! Do I worry about divorce in my relationship, no I don’t obsess about it. If circumstances change, to what I/we consider out of the norm. I will do my damnedest to work it out, within reason, Any long term negative impact on my (or my future childrens) mental, emotional or physical health will have to be taken into consideration. I always chuckle about these posts, I find them a tad naive. Sure I believe “divorce is not an option” in the same way you can buy the Brooklyn Bridge for a $1.
@eeniebeans: The man you divorce is not the man you married.
I agree with all of this. I didn’t enter into my marriage ever intending to get a divorce. DH and I made a promise to each other a long time ago that we’d never quit on each other…meaning that we’d never just get bored and leave. That our relationship, our marriage, is the most important thing in our lives, and we will continue on to work on it, and on ourselves, to make ourselves the best partners we can be. I know I won’t find anyone better suited for me than him, and I will always fight for us.
BUT we are both aware that life happens. If he’s miserable with me year after year, and we’ve gone to counseling and tried everything we can to save our marriage, and he wants out, I can’t stop him. I won’t stop him. I love him too much to want him to have a miserable life, and if a point comes were I make him miserable, then I would give him a divorce, and vice versa.
If he ever lays a hand on me in anger I’m gone. No questions asked. That is my line in the sand. If he cheats on me…well, I don’t know. I’d like to think I would leave, but realistically, if it was a one-time deal, I probably wouldn’t. I would be furious, and it would take a lot of work and counseling, but I would probably still try to save my marriage. I know there are a lot of women here that would leave outright, but I’m probably not one of them.
My stepbrother and SIL are in the middle of a divorce. They’ve been married for 12 years now, and have two children together. One day, out of the blue, stepbrother told her he wasn’t happy, he no longer wanted “the white picket fence life” they had, and he wanted a divorce. She did everything she could, throughout their marriage, to keep him happy. She accepted that she wasn’t the number one priority in his life (which were, in order, his job, his daughters, and his car, then her). She begged him to go to counseling, and they did, once, separately and together. He told her and the counselor that he didn’t even want to try. He just wanted out. She was blindsided, but she gave it to him, because along the way she finally realized that their whole marriage had been very unfair to her. In their case, I think divorce was the best option, for both of them, and for their girls. The girls saw their mother being treated like a doormat, day in and day out.