Post # 1
OK, so it all just got to be way to much….and we’ve made our decision….so why am I so nervous????
We had a guest list that was quickly rising over 200pp and in return a price tag we just could no longer justify. We are paying for the wedding ourselves and yet are receiving all this input and guest list additions from family. I was going crazy trying to please everyone and worrying about saying “no” or hurting feelings about not inviting someone.
Anyway, long story short. We are done! After redoing the estimated cost and being now thousands over what we had wanted we are calling it quits!
Yes, we are still getting married….but now it’s a secret!
Instead of a July 7, 2012 wedding we are now looking at dates in the next few months!!! We are going to then send out invitations to our immediate family and very close friends that will be for a “surprise semi formal engagement party” being thrown for us by our very dear friends (who will actually be pretend people!!!). This way all of our guests arrive somewhat dressed up and on time and expecting to surprise us….when in return….we’ll walk in dressed in a gown and tux and let them all know…WE’RE GETTING MARRIED NOW!!! We will all head outside for the intimate ceremony and followed then by dinner.
What do you think? Can we pull this off???
We are hoping that everyone will be so surprised and taken back…no one will have time to complain about the great aunt who isn’t there or the 4th cousin once removed with her 5 kids! Or so we hope!
Are we crazy???
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
I would love to be invited to something like this but we could never have pulled it off!
Post # 4
Definitely not crazy! I think you’d be crazier to go the other way by the sounds of it. This sounds awesome! Great idea!
Post # 5
I think that is absolutly wonderful and if my fiance would have aggreed to that I would do it as well! I hate spending money and having to invite this person or that person. To be honest I just wanted to elope! lol
Post # 6
That is awesome. Love the surprise wedding idea.
Post # 7
I think its a great idea. Girl, go for it!!
Post # 9
Fantastic idea! I’m sure it will work out wonderfully for you. Besides… your wedding is supposed to be an enjoyable experience. Not a headache. This plan sounds like you are more in control and that is the way it should be!
Post # 10
Awesome, good for you! I can’t wait to hear how it all comes together for you…good luck!
Post # 11
Thanks girls!! You’re making me feel better 🙂 I feel a bit excited and a bit guilty! Eloping was a thought but I have a 6yr old daughter who we really feel should be part of a true wedding ceremony as this not only makes us husband and wife…but a family too 🙂
I’ll keep you posted on how it all turns out! Now to work out the details of how we’ll keep it a secret and yet still have a small bridal party 🙂
Post # 12
I love the idea! The only concern I would have is that a lot of people wouldn’t feel the same urgency about making sure to go to an engagement party, so you might end up with some significant people missing it because they don’t realize the importance of it.
Post # 13
Omg I want to go to something like this! You will probably have some complainers….just shut them out its your wedding! Please let us know how it goes! I hope you get some good pics of peoples faces 🙂
Post # 14
Mightywombat….I hear you!! That was our first concern! And honestly we had considered inviting everyone this way and if you didn’t show up…your fault not ours! But then we thought it best just to cut the list to only our parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and siblings. We know they all wouldn’t miss such an important event in our lives. And worst comes to worse…we tell them if they say they can’t make it and swear them to secrecy!!!
Post # 15
I have heard of one other person doing this, and she pulled it off. I am going to go against the grain here, but I am not a fan. I do not like feeling duped, and as a guest, though I would be honored to be included in your day, I would be miffed why you chose to handle it like that. Also, if you are dealing with trying to accommodate people now, imagine the damage control afterwards! I totally support scrapping the big wedding and having something intimate and doing it your way; I just feel that can be achieved without the gimmick of a surprise wedding. Good luck working it all out!
Post # 16
Great idea! The expense can be absolutely overwhelming when you are paying for everything yourself. As long as your wedding is *yours* I believe you will not have any regrets.