(Closed) The biggest myth about giving birth

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 17
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

The birth of my daughter was long, and not at all what I thought it would be. Yeah, it hurt, but damn was it worth it! I actually loved the experience so much that the day after we had her I looked at my husband and said “let’s do it again!!”  

Post # 18
Bee
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008 - A tiny town just outside of Glacier National Park

Thank you for sharing this! 

Post # 19
Member
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

One of the best threads on the Pregnancy board. You rarley see positive stories about birth. It can scare anyone straight. Thank you so much.

Im due any day now!

Post # 20
Member
595 posts
Busy bee

@JenGirl:  Yeah, I’m not too thrilled about this thread. My grandmother had several painless births, so my mum was prepared for it to not be as bad as she had heard, but for her it was very painful. It’s different for everyone.

Post # 21
Member
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2000

Thank you for not making my spincter clench with your birth story!  

Post # 22
Member
2123 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - DD born 2015 DS born 2017

@quierajen:  Wow, what what you wrote is word-for-word how I feel, and I feel that’s a rare thing! I too am actually looking forward to my natural birth next year, and I wholly trust my body to get the job done!

 

@Mollie-Rose:  Thanks very much for writing this. There is so much fear-mongering, and ironically fear itself increases the pain.

Post # 23
Member
653 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

What a great post! Some of us pre family bees watch these boards with some anxiety, so this is a really feel good post! Thank you!

Post # 24
Member
7430 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

@missrain:  Um. Pretty sure I was still a VERY active participant in my child’s birth, even though I had an epidural. And no, I didn’t sit and wait there completely numb until the doctor told me to push. I was able to feel things and push when it felt right to me.

 

This thread seems really high and mighty. More power to you if you want a natural child birth, but that doesn’t make the pain or people’s different experiences with it a “myth”.

 

Post # 25
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@missrain:  I have to agree with @Cory_loves_this_girl that women who get epidurals are still active in the birthing of their child(ren).

Sometimes, natural, drug-free just doesn’t work out. I was hoping for a natural birth, but after 2 days of literally NO SLEEP I was exhausted and was a zombie. The epidural actually made me MORE active because I could function to some degree afterward getting it. My nurse even commented and told me I was a whole different person (he meant it in a good way.)  I had my epidural for all of an hour and then my dr shut it off right after I started pushing…for 2 1/2 hours mind you…so I think your blanket statement of saying women who get epidurals are just numb and not participants in the birth is not fair.

 

Post # 26
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I appreciate this OP because it’s always reassuring to hear about positive birth experiences (and I know firsthand that unmedicated is doable), but what I do not appreciate is the implication that always comes up in threads like this that if you need medical intervention, whether it be an epidural or c-section, then your body failed you, or you didn’t get the full experience.  Bullshit.  It’s not a competition, and making it through without drugs does not make you a better woman or a better mother.  Mothers should be supporting each other, not loftily looking down their noses at women who make different birth choices (or don’t have a choice because an emergency arises).  Healthy mama and healthy baby are all that matters! 

Post # 27
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

@LincsMama:  @Cory_loves_this_girl:  I apologize. It wasn’t fair of me to say anything that might diminish anyone else’s birth experience. I was speaking of my own perceptions but I realize that every birth is unique and I sincerely respect anyone who goes through the process regardless of how they do it. It’s easy to get a little excited when you find a thread of people who agree with what you’re trying to do, instead of putting it down as unreasonable or pointless. I’ll be more careful with my words in the future. 

Eta: typing this in my phone and it adds the most bizarre corrections! I think I caught them all but if there are any random words or misspellings that is why…

Post # 28
Member
33 posts
Newbee

I think the biggest myth is that you forget all about the labor after you have the baby. Bull! Having a seizure during an emergency cesarean after 18 hrs of labor is not something that’s easily forgotten. 

The danger and pain of giving birth is minimized when people say things like, “Your body is made for this! Don’t worry about it.” Etc.

Post # 29
Member
9815 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Cory_loves_this_girl:  

@LincsMama:  

I’m hoping to have a natural birth but I understand sometimes epidurals can be quite helpful.  I talked to someone whose labor was going so slowly because she was soooo tense from the pain.  Once she got an epidural and was able to relax she dilated 9 cm in a matter of hours.  So I can understand an epidural helping if you’re going through a very long labor and are already exhausted. 

I do agree with the OP on the fear aspect.  If you’re taught to be terrified of giving birth and are afraid and fearful and expect it to be the worst thing in the world…it probably will be.  I don’t like that women are practically taught to be terrified of giving birth.  I’d rather take a positive approach over a fearful one.

Post # 30
Member
6659 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

It was not bad at all for me as well. Real labor was very fast, only a few hours and I only pushed for about 5 minutes. This was also after months of hearing horrific birth stories and ‘guarantees’ that my experience would be horrible.

Post # 31
Member
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

“Believe me: if you are told that some experience is going to hurt, it will hurt. Most pain is in the mind, and when a woman absorbs the idea that the act of giving birth is excruciatingly painful- when she hears this information from her mother, her sisters, her married friends, and her physician- that woman has been mentally prepared to feel great agony” – Stehpen King’s “The Breathing Method” (Stephen King’s children were birthed at home)

Things like epidurals and other medical intervention are fantastic when used appropriately, they aren’t the problem. Technology is neither good nor bad, it’s how it’s used and under what pretense that it is used that becomes the problem. Many moms are conditioned to fear birth so much, with providers that are not supportive of the natural process of their own specialty, that these things are often misused and more harm than good comes of it (high cesarean rates, morbidity rates, and even rising mortality rates all prove this).

Yes, things can go wrong in birth and women should not dimish that, but when the process is allowed to work without *unnecessary* intervention and women are empowered to embrace their body’s capabilities as opposed to fear them, those risks really are much lower than all the fear mongering alludes too. THAT is also important for us AND our children and should not be diminished.

-a mom that had a 31hr medicated labor-cesarean, and a 45hr unmedicated vbac-

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