(Closed) The bitter sweet EMS relationship

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1332 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

NOT an EMS person, nor am I dating one, but I wanted to ask a couple of questions 🙂  Why does that career have a stigma against marriage (do you think)?!  Is it the schedules/hours you have to work?? Or, bringing home emotions after a hard day/seeing something terrible?!  Just curious!!! Thanks!

Post # 4
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t quite know why…. and I’m not directly part of the EMS world.  My dad has been a firefighter for 20+ years along with an EMS. 

I would say that my dad’s job facilitated the ruining of my parents marriage about 5 years ago (don’t get me wrong- there were issues- just saying I think his job facilitated the temptation to leave, rather than be the man that raised me- who taught us that you put your everything into your marriage and you Do Not Leave) .  It allowed him to escape from problems inside the marriage and spend a lot of time with peers/ females- these peers- for whatever reason did not value his marriage- and gave him “other options”.  Not saying he was innocent here… total free-will. 

But, I’ve sadly seen this happen in about 5 or 6 of my dad’s co-workers in the last few years.  I’m not sure why all of the sudden it seems to be happening- very weird!!!!  A few years ago I saw some article about emergency workers having higher divorce rates— I should search for that now…. I do not remember what exactly it said.

 I just think that the”partnership” that emergency workers have to have- while they at times spend 24 hours together- is almost TOO close. But, that’s my (jaded and outside) view on things.  

This does NOT mean that you and your fiance will be in this same ship.  Heck, statistics say that over 50% of marriages will fail.  I sure as heck am not going to let that happen- and my fiance’ is committed to the same goal!  It sounds like you all are a strong couple- and if you continue to grow throughout the years TOGETHER there’s not much to worry about. 


Post # 5
732 posts
Busy bee

I don’t have any advice, I just wanted to commend you and your Fiance for working such a selfless, high-pressure job that most people (including me) would never have the courage to do. Whatever happens, know that you and your Fiance are amazing, inspiring people.

Post # 6
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

??  maybe because it’s really stressful with long hours like police officers & military?

Thank you for what you do.

Post # 7
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

High stress jobs seem to have a large number of divorce. When I got engaged to my first husband, I worked phone tech support for a large payroll company, and he worked for Home Depot. My co-workers used it as an excuse to get drunk, and tell me that “It COULD work out, maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones”.

My ex’s co-workers told him which of the women in the store were the easy ones. One guy handed him one of those pipe clamps you use a screwdriver to tighten. He said “Here’s your wedding ring, bud. Just put it on your d**k. Every year, tighen it a couple of turns. That’s about what marriage is like”. He called it the Divorce Depot. I in no way believe, nor am I trying to infer that working at Home Depot is nearly as stressful as EMT. Those guys were just bitter as hell.

Post # 9
540 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think spouses of paramedics, firefighters, military personnel, pilots, and police officers all hear the same negative things.  You are right–it is a total pain.  I have women ask me all the time, “How do you deal with him being gone all the time?”  “Don’t you worry about him cheating on you?”  “Don’t you resent him for being gone so much?”  “Are you constantly worried about him dying?”  I’m like, are you serious, people?  I agree with what a PP said about a high stress job thing.  Sometimes people have a hard time understanding and may be doubly resentful that you two have a great relationship in spite of your crazy schedules/situations.  I, too, would like to thank you for the work you do.  My future brother-in-law is an EMT, and it is HARD HARD work.  🙂 

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