Post # 1
I’m not emotional about it anymore but obviously still dwelling on it. I honestly don’t think I’ll be approaching my “sister” about this. It all started because she asked if her bf could come to the rehearsal dinner. I am still looking for locations for the dinner and haven’t ironed out those details. I do know one of the locations I’ve visited has room for 28 people and I have 30 so it’s already tight and I simply said “I’ll let you know” which she took as “no” and flipped out then I saw she started a blog and wrote a blog post about me. I wasn’t planning on inviting everyone else’s significant others as it is just a rehearsal dinner and not the actual wedding. I don’t think she knows I’ve read the post and I was an absolute mess after reading it.
I don’t think we’ll talk between now and the wedding (which is in 22 days) and she’s my Maid/Matron of Honor.
Here’s THE post:
Post # 3
Wow, that is horrible! This doesn’t belong on the internet! It’s not even witty, just plain cruel. Who would want to read this blog anyway? Why doesn’t she just write a diary?
Can you replace her as the MOH? I would not want her to stand by my side after reading this.
Post # 4
I’m really sorry you’re going through this 🙁
If it makes you feel any better people say the nastiest, untruthful things when they’re angry, and by reading your sister’s post you can tell she’s very angry.
I don’t know what I’d do if I were in your situation but I think I’d probably talk to her about it (calmly) as soon as possible, explaining how her words were really hurtful. I’d also probably invite her boyfriend along. She is your sister, after all. Have they been together for a long time? If he’s a recent boyfriend I’d probably not invite him, but if they’re in a serious relationship then you need to think this guy will one day be your brother.
But nothing excuses her behaviour!!! (and how naive -not to say stupid- of her to publish that on a blog!)
Post # 5
Does she know you saw the post?
Post # 5
@AprilJo2011: I agree with you, it’s not even a funny rant, I imagine she doesn’t have a lot of readers!!!
Post # 6
Not excusing her venting on the Internet, but you should not split up social units. You can host a less expensive rehearsal dinner if costs are a concern.
Post # 7
That would obviously be an extremely upsetting thing to find. I have 2 sisters and I know that would really hurt.
Did she post it somewhere she knew you would find it? That would be pretty malicious. I am not sure I could let that slide with out talking to my sister about it. I think that is an innappropriate venue to vent such feelings and to me shows that she actually does not “know how to treat people”
I think I would have to call my sister. . . Not to start any drama and not be angry. Just let her know how hurtful that is. And if you still want her to be your Maid/Matron of Honor I think a conversation has to be had. You dont want the tension from that on your wedding day with her standing next to you.
Post # 8
@rosesarered: I can understand why you are hurt. I would be too. This to me though seems like a vent for her. I have two sisters and they each drive me nuts in their own ways. I can totally see in a moment of frustration me writing stuff like this about one of em. I think that because you guys are sisters this will get smoothed out. If I were you I would confront her before the wedding to avoid any dampers on your special day. I would be honest and let her know I saw the blog post and I would want to know why she felt that way, ask her for examples of how your behavior offends her so much. As far as her saying “the whole family thinks” or feels any certain way I wouldnt take that seriously at this point. I would however, just go to my close family members and say something like “if I have been tough to handle lately or you think I am being self centered or a pain in the butt i apologize, I heard through the grape vine that people might be frustrated with me and if thats the case I am sorry. I wasnt aware of how i was being perceived and it was not my intention to come off in any bad way”. I am someone though that is not afraid of confrontation and would want everything put out there before myw edding day so as to avoid any blow ups on the day of so maybe this kind of approach does not work for you, but maybe it does 🙂 . Also, if she is your Maid/Matron of Honor, I don’t know about you but I would not want her standing by me on my wedding day knowing how fake she is being if things are not talked about before then. again though, thats just me. I hope it works out for you and Im sorry you are hurt, thats never a good feeling.
ETA: I do not think what she said is ok or right, for the record. And the internet is a bad place for that kind of venting.
Post # 8
She was probably mad when she wrote it and it wasn’t for your eyes to see. I know it may be hard, but I would tell her I found it and see what she says. I know my sister and I get angry at the other and then just let it go quite fast. She might already be over whatever it was (please don’t think I’m excusing her behaivor) and hopefully will apologize.
Post # 8
Yeah get rid of her, don’t even tell her why just throw her out of the wedding party. She’s gonna regret saying those awful things about you, and spreading it ONLINE.
And all because her boyfriend can’t come to one dinner? So eating next to her boyfriend is more important to her than having a relationship with her sister. nice. (ETA I get that normally you invite guests for the bridal party and some people may be upset about not having a date, but still, she’s gone way way to far.)
I’m just sorry you found that. Even if you were being a bridezilla, which it doesn’t sound like you were, this is totally harsh.
Post # 9
Question: Maybe you’re so hurt as deep down inside you know that there is a shred of truth in what your sister says?
I mean, ‘we’ll see’ is something my parents told me when I asked for a new toy or to stay up past my curfew. “I’ll let you know” kind of implies the same thing.
This is coming from the camp of ” ‘it’s your day, you can do whatever you want’ is a BS statement” Keep that in mind as your read my post however.
But perhaps choosing a location where people who are big parts of the wedding have room to bring a date would be the easiest solution.
Post # 11
OMG. I have no words for that other than awful.
I am just so sorry.
Post # 12
@Moja Milosc: remember we only have one side of the story and what the OP may think she is mad at could be something else all together. Throwing her sister out of the wedding is so drastic and something the OP may regret.
Post # 13
We’re both really stubborn in nature so I’m sure neither of us will speak between now and then. She’s never had a blog before and I guess she didn’t realize the difference in privacy settings and was stupid enough to put the link in her twitter profile then tweeted that she posted a great blog post “#rant” and obviously I figured it was about her.
I do understand that I shouldn’t “split up social units” and that he could potentially be my brother-in-law one day (I doubt it) but they’ve been dating about 9 months, no one in my family likes him, I don’t see him around for very long at all ….BUT… that’s not up to me if they stay together or not and I would honestly support her either way. But, this is a rehearsal dinner. I was planning on having just those that need to be there (i.e. those participating). He’s already coming to the wedding, obviously, and to tell you the truth I was intending on inviting him if I had space but since I don’t know the location yet I don’t know.