(Closed) The Boarder Rant

posted 5 years ago in Home
Post # 3
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@LemonyItch:  Don’t just get it off your chest here. Speak up to him for gosh sake. He will drive you crazy before a couple of years are up and you will likely end up in a big blowout that can be avoided with a little direct communication. Frankly it sounds like you need a “house meeting” so you can agree on some ground rules.

Tell him that you would rather he wait until he has a full load to do laundry. Give him a timer that he can set so he knows when his load is finished so he can take it out.


When he changes the channel on the TV, tell him “Excuse me, may I have the remote back? I was watching a program and I would like to see the end of it.”

At the house meeting, discuss that food is not automatically shared except for the one night a week. He is either on his own for meals or needs to contribute to the expense of the meals you produce.

etc etc etc

people can only take advantage of you to the extent that you let them.

Post # 4
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Wow. Those are not petty complaints, and some don’t seem like obliviousness, they seem purposeful, and reveal a lack of respect for you. Start standing up for yourself girl! Don’t let him take things that are yours, don’t let him take over the TV! By leaving in a huff instead of saying something, he gets what he wants and learns he doesn’t have to respect you. His behavior needs to stop. As far as him taking dinner goes, tell your Fiance that next time he does it, you are going to say something, and you need your Fiance to back you up. If the roommate says something about there being enough for him, say that the sooner you run out of leftovers, the sooner you have to cook again, so it’s as if you are cooking an extra meal for him when he takes your food. What a jerk!

Post # 5
933 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Yea those are some pretty bad complaints for a roomate situation. He purposely farts in the room you are in?!?

The only thing I can think of is that you (and FI) need to address these things with him.  Having extra money for minor renovations is not helpful if his cat is ruining the floor!

Post # 6
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Um, he is disgusting and disrespectful and you guys need to tell him to go. 

Post # 7
1328 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

You should talk to your Fiance first, and explain that this is going to change.  Don’t make it optional.  Say that you’re going to start speaking up when roommate does this stuff, and you need him to back you up.

Post # 8
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

You need to start standing up for yourself and communicating with these people. It isn’t ok for them to treat your home like this, and they need to know it.

Post # 9
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

id probably get v apassive aggressive about this if i were you haha

make enough food for you and fi, divide it onto two plates – then it will be obvious there is nothing left for him. if he tries to invite himself in the future, ask for a financial contribution or say you need space

– dump laundry out of machine into basket if left there. if he re washes it ask for a higher contribution to energy bill

– if he changes channel take remote and say “no, i was watching that” and calmly switch it back


– discuss that food is not to be shared except for one night a week

get yoru fi to have your back

– if he says he will take a shower – wait 30 minutes. if he doesnt start the shower – run washing machine etc as you want

– joint budget for cleaning wipes and cleaning stuff

Post # 10
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

House meeting to discuss the rules first with everyone present


  • Create a shelf for his food.  If he eats off your shelf/shelves, have a standing rule he owes 2 (or 5 or 10…) times the value of the item.
  • Request the remote back on the spot if he changes the channel on you.  If needed, set official time blocks you each get the remote.
  • Ask him when he is taking his shower.  If he says now, say, thanks.  If he doesn’t take it within 5 minutes, approach him again and say that as he’s not hoping in the shower, you are (and do so).  (If need be, literally set a 5 minute timer.)
  • When he leaves his laundry in, pull them out and set on top of the washer to use it.
  • Hide the cleaning wipes and tell him you’re “all out” and ask him to pick them up.
  • Cat pee stain at this point you really can’t do anything about unless you want to charge it to his deposit.  If you aren’t certain if it’s his cat or someone else’s, I wouldn’t charge it.
  • If he tries to eat your dinner simply say, excuse me, I was actually planning on having that for lunch, but I’m happy to make it for our weekly dinner.  And like someone said, portion it out on two plates immediately.
  • Next time he complains about energy, remind him that laundry uses energy (tell him exactly how much for your machine) and that he could save by running a full load only as much as needed.

Post # 11
4659 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@newname_99:  Ngl, I’d probably do this… I like to believe I’d be all open and honest but I’ve been down this road with a horrible housemate and did basically this exactly. 

Post # 12
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@Bebealways:  yeah honestly, i came up with an initial answer. which was all reasonable and about communication and compromise etc….then i realised i’d never do it in real life, i just thought it sounded good haha. the passiev aggressive answer was the honest one 😛

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